fool

I'm one big fool. I'm the biggest fool. I'm so sorry Father, please, please forgive me.

If I were you

1) Address your unresolved childhood issues. "If you attempt to build intimacy with a person before you've done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be attempt to complete the hole in your heart."
2) Get out of debt.
3) Break your bad habits now.
4) Postpone the physical component of your dating relationship ALAP . Self-control before you're married results in self-control after you're married. Self-control now trains you for self-control later;
5) Avoid living together.
6) Get involved in your local church. And serve.