ME!
Oh I'm so funny.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Monday, October 29, 2012
sandy
Many places are heavily affected by Hurricane Sandy today, if not already yesterday. It's still going around the New England area, and most likely will continue to bring a good amount of rain and very high wind speeds to wherever it decides to pass.
Yes, the weather wasn't terrible today; in fact, it only started raining later in the afternoon. The prediction yesterday was slightly off. That's only because Sandy was slow, in my opinion. But the prediction was a prediction, and the campus closed today as a result. Now, with the possibility of Sandy actually striking tomorrow, it is safe to say that the entire Umass population was wishing no classes tomorrow, even some professors. I mean, what if Sandy does hit harder tomorrow?
Yes, the weather wasn't terrible today; in fact, it only started raining later in the afternoon. The prediction yesterday was slightly off. That's only because Sandy was slow, in my opinion. But the prediction was a prediction, and the campus closed today as a result. Now, with the possibility of Sandy actually striking tomorrow, it is safe to say that the entire Umass population was wishing no classes tomorrow, even some professors. I mean, what if Sandy does hit harder tomorrow?
Well, it doesn't matter anymore because everyone had been waiting from 7:30 til just about half an hour ago for an answer, and the answer is yes, it will be a normal Tuesday as if Sandy was never here.
What do you know? I'm not saying that Sandy will hit harder tomorrow or want to, but I'd like to see how they respond if it does, putting people in danger.
Alright, my rant is over. Gonna shower and head off. Still a bit annoyed by the decision but I guess I just gotta get soaked tomorrow.
song of the week #22
Here's a soft piece for this...interesting week. Hope you guys like it! :)
The Cinematic Orchestra - The Arrival of the Birds and Transformation.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
that hair fro
I think I figured out why my hair's always so fro-puffy. I think it's because it dries up too quickly and easily. It's either that or it's time to get another conditioner zz.
My hair after I soak it:
Like, it's not as puffy, but it is still. Especially after I go out and let it hair dry. zzz Plus it's getting colder, I can't always keep it damp all the time :(
Eh I'll figure something out.
OR I could just get a haircut. That would mean a haircut every....2 months.... Damnit hair why you grow so fast.
My hair after I soak it:
Like, it's not as puffy, but it is still. Especially after I go out and let it hair dry. zzz Plus it's getting colder, I can't always keep it damp all the time :(
Eh I'll figure something out.
OR I could just get a haircut. That would mean a haircut every....2 months.... Damnit hair why you grow so fast.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
weekends
Alright, haven't ranted in a while. I guess what I'm about to say isn't exactly occasion-fitting since it's Halloween weekend (part 1) but I'm just gonna say it. I don't really care.
I miss having friends who just wanna hang out for like a movie night or something. To just be there. Just. There. Let the love flow. Among us, between us, in the air, in the souls.
I'm gonna go for a walk. I miss late night walks.
You know what always tears me up? Hillsong's From the Inside Out.
-h-
I miss having friends who just wanna hang out for like a movie night or something. To just be there. Just. There. Let the love flow. Among us, between us, in the air, in the souls.
I'm gonna go for a walk. I miss late night walks.
You know what always tears me up? Hillsong's From the Inside Out.
-h-
Thursday, October 25, 2012
ughghghgh
I miss hugs! Ugh, the good and long ones that touch the soul and eases the sadness. Cuddles too, I guess, but just like good hugs. I guess I just have to start one...somehow. I have a free hugs shirt too! D:<
Welp.
Welp.
charlie
I'm gonna write a little about the movie I just saw. I'll try my best not to spoil anything. I'll do heads ups if I will be going into some potential spoilers.
Before anything, I thought it was funny how Emma Watson tried pretty hard to cover her British accent. She did a pretty good job, only a few slips here and there :)
----
Laughter, heart strings, and teary eyes reminded me once again how much I loved the book. The movie lived up to my expectations. As my friend pointed out, given that Chbosky directed the movie himself, the movie turned out extremely well. Some omitted events from the book were still captured in the main scheme of the film, some in different forms, some in more subtle methods.
Like the book, the movie brought out deeper and more buried scheme of life. It's perhaps not the best representation of high school, but it's a story that hit on many many topics: relationships, love, trauma, loss of loved ones, guilt, the real world, coping, fitting in, friendship, acknowledging feelings, sense of belonging, living in the past, true characters, forgiveness, understanding.
A wallflower sees things, keeps quiet, and understands.
It's not listening to happy songs when you're sad; it's the choice to feel; it's letting happiness come to you; it's the choice to be sensitive; it's choosing reality over dreams; it's knowing letting go is never really letting go.
It's accepting the love we think we deserve.
Charlie is not everyone, and not everyone is a wallflower, either. As the wallflower, Charlie becomes the side of all of us that exists at many points in our lives. He's the person when we feel most invisible, some more often than others.
POTENTIAL SPOILER.
Not everyone has had Charlie's traumatic past, but the idea is that everyone has their own past to deal with, and that one's history has ultimately shaped their person as a whole, whether he has lost many loved ones before or that if she has lived and conquered a disease. Everyone's story is different, and it's only fair to realize those battles out there exist, rather than only your internal quarrels.
Charlie's relationship with Sam is a heartfelt and mutual one. It is worth noting that this is only possible when Sam sees what he been through wasn't just a bad grade in school or a bad friendship. Even though she doesn't know the entire story, it is clear that she knows that her approach needs to be sensitive. Same with Patrick (who is, by the way, my favorite character, both from the book and the movie). The two of them make the almost ideal thoughtful and caring friends one could ask for.
END OF POTENTIAL SPOILER.
The story touches on a very important idea: love is independent of relationships. One fuels on expectations, while the other is the fuel. It's not relationships that we want, but simply love. Relationship itself has no meaning. Friends are not friends if you feel you can't be open with them. The only way to know if they are your friend is to open up slightly and see if they do the same. That's what Charlie does, Sam, and Patrick.
I think without these friends, you can't call other friends your friends.
Like Morrie says, love can flow just between two people, with words or silence.
I want to be able to be able to not talk about anything, heavy or light, to just be there together, and be enough.
I loved it. I absolutely loved it. It's no doubt one of my favorite movies now.
-h-
Before anything, I thought it was funny how Emma Watson tried pretty hard to cover her British accent. She did a pretty good job, only a few slips here and there :)
----
Laughter, heart strings, and teary eyes reminded me once again how much I loved the book. The movie lived up to my expectations. As my friend pointed out, given that Chbosky directed the movie himself, the movie turned out extremely well. Some omitted events from the book were still captured in the main scheme of the film, some in different forms, some in more subtle methods.
Like the book, the movie brought out deeper and more buried scheme of life. It's perhaps not the best representation of high school, but it's a story that hit on many many topics: relationships, love, trauma, loss of loved ones, guilt, the real world, coping, fitting in, friendship, acknowledging feelings, sense of belonging, living in the past, true characters, forgiveness, understanding.
A wallflower sees things, keeps quiet, and understands.
It's not listening to happy songs when you're sad; it's the choice to feel; it's letting happiness come to you; it's the choice to be sensitive; it's choosing reality over dreams; it's knowing letting go is never really letting go.
It's accepting the love we think we deserve.
Charlie is not everyone, and not everyone is a wallflower, either. As the wallflower, Charlie becomes the side of all of us that exists at many points in our lives. He's the person when we feel most invisible, some more often than others.
POTENTIAL SPOILER.
Not everyone has had Charlie's traumatic past, but the idea is that everyone has their own past to deal with, and that one's history has ultimately shaped their person as a whole, whether he has lost many loved ones before or that if she has lived and conquered a disease. Everyone's story is different, and it's only fair to realize those battles out there exist, rather than only your internal quarrels.
Charlie's relationship with Sam is a heartfelt and mutual one. It is worth noting that this is only possible when Sam sees what he been through wasn't just a bad grade in school or a bad friendship. Even though she doesn't know the entire story, it is clear that she knows that her approach needs to be sensitive. Same with Patrick (who is, by the way, my favorite character, both from the book and the movie). The two of them make the almost ideal thoughtful and caring friends one could ask for.
END OF POTENTIAL SPOILER.
The story touches on a very important idea: love is independent of relationships. One fuels on expectations, while the other is the fuel. It's not relationships that we want, but simply love. Relationship itself has no meaning. Friends are not friends if you feel you can't be open with them. The only way to know if they are your friend is to open up slightly and see if they do the same. That's what Charlie does, Sam, and Patrick.
I think without these friends, you can't call other friends your friends.
Like Morrie says, love can flow just between two people, with words or silence.
I want to be able to be able to not talk about anything, heavy or light, to just be there together, and be enough.
I loved it. I absolutely loved it. It's no doubt one of my favorite movies now.
-h-
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
mine
I don't know why but I've kinda put this song away for a long time now. It was the song I think it described me the most, and I think it still does.
I'm gonna bring it back onto my ipod.
I'm gonna bring it back onto my ipod.
Monday, October 22, 2012
song of the week #21
Herro guys, I have something new for this week's music. New style of video and presentation! (I'm making it sound like I made this but nope, I wish haha) Hope you enjoy it!
Glocal Sound - Matteo Negrin
Thursday, October 18, 2012
cheer you up
If you are sad or down and need something to cheer you up, to put a smile on your face, please watch this.
Seriously she is beyond adorable >.< Ahhhhhhhhh CAN I HAZ.
Sorry my head is gonna explode into candies and sprinkles and stuff.
Seriously she is beyond adorable >.< Ahhhhhhhhh CAN I HAZ.
Sorry my head is gonna explode into candies and sprinkles and stuff.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
roses of a lifetime
Exam this morning, exam tomorrow, exam next Monday. My liiiiiiife.
I kinda wanna talk about a few things. First of all, I've had this cough for about a month now. It's just the occasional dry coughs, but it just won't go away. Not sure what actually makes the coughs return, or maybe I'm just not well yet. Blah this needs to go away.
It's gotten colder than I expected. Then again, it's New England and thus I can't even say it's surprisingly colder 'cause we even had a snow storm one year ago. The reason why I mentioned the weather is because, while I got more winter clothes when I went back home during Columbus weekend, I did not bring my gloves and hat with me. Speaking of that, I also kinda need a haircut. Ugh everything is telling me to go home again but like, it's such a waste of time and I have an exam Monday so it's impractical to do so. I guess I could go buy another hat, and gloves could wait. I'll just start soaking my hair, I guess.
Oh yea, the DC food posts. I decided to take a break from those because there's been so much repeating meals/dishes that it's a waste of posts, really. Instead, I'll picture new and rare dishes that are served.
----
I went people watching a little bit a few days ago, in between classes (after these exams I'll definitely do it again). I realized something that I wasn't able to figure out before. I realized that people, at least by their junior year, have found their "niche" in college, if you will. I don't know if people adapt to other niches, or do they create their own niches. Either case, a niche is common for upperclassmen. It's almost like home, except it's not strictly physical but more psychological. This is almost always a good thing.
The problem is, though, that once you have this niche, it's sometimes difficult to adapt to another. You always tend to go back to the niche when possible, and when you do, that's when your niche resolves your emotional and psychological tensions that others can't. Now, what if you don't really have that niche after a year or two in college? What if you never really found people who share similar things, like the same stuff, or even enjoy your company? You try to adapt into existing niches, yet while those niches may welcome you, the chances of you really adapting into this new niche, and the niche integrating you entirely, is another story.
This also describes some cases where a group of people began to know each other, establish "friendship," yet over time learned who themselves and others truly are, and the niche dissolved into, at least you as an, individual(s). What do you do then? It's like freshmen year all over again, except most people have their niches already, and now you technically don't.
'Cause then you begin making shallow friends who may stay on the surface for the rest of your lives. You may only know them by name, by what they study, and never their persons.
Well, you're kinda screwed. Because when you don't have a best friend, life really really sucks. I think this may as well be the reason why a lot of people hated high school because of phonies. I guess at this point, keep an open mind and be approachable, because the opposite is simply not the answer. Maybe someday you'll find a home for yourself. >.<
On the other end of the spectrum, you could also have found a beautiful niche filled with lovely and down-to-earth people who you know like siblings, without all the strangers' formality and such (I'm sure you know what I'm talking about).
How do you gauge this family that you've found? I don't know, really. I remember talking about having no expectations so anything becomes nice, pleasant surprises, but that is a depressing way to live.
The thing is though, I feel like a lot of my friends are simply growing apart from me. Or-I rather not think this-that they're never my real friends because they're just being friendly. Either case, though, I feel like everyone is slowly turning into different persons and I no longer know them. And then as I try to make new friends, the similar strangers effect thing comes into play, and you never know if they really want to be your friend. Obviously (almost) no one would just tell you in your face that they don't want to be your friend (...except this one person I know who would do that, but he's an exception).
I really really hate this feeling.
I mean, do you try to be nice or honest? That fine line cannot be redrawn after crossed. I mean, no one would play the honestly card unless a friendship requires such measure for one side to end or restore the friendship. But it is the choice of being nice or honest that leads to the need play that honestly card that could very well end something.
Sadly, I it comes down to if you like the person or not. It's gotten brutally simple. You walk through the garden of life, and you see all the different beautiful creations all around you. If you were to pick the ones you really like, you'll only pick a few, despite how beautiful the others look, there will only be a few that you truly like.
I used to think that many things are mutual. I'm sorry for those who had to learn this the hard way.
One of my favorite quotes by Jonathan Foer says
Why go through the bother to love everyone you meet when you know that not everyone will stay with you? Do I have enough pieces of my heart to give out? I do realize that before the day, it won't be easy, that I would want to give up constantly, that I would hurt. Is it worth it on the day when someone returns something back? Is it worth the equivalent exchange? I hope so.
Yea, I don't miss relationships. I miss love.
I kinda wanna talk about a few things. First of all, I've had this cough for about a month now. It's just the occasional dry coughs, but it just won't go away. Not sure what actually makes the coughs return, or maybe I'm just not well yet. Blah this needs to go away.
It's gotten colder than I expected. Then again, it's New England and thus I can't even say it's surprisingly colder 'cause we even had a snow storm one year ago. The reason why I mentioned the weather is because, while I got more winter clothes when I went back home during Columbus weekend, I did not bring my gloves and hat with me. Speaking of that, I also kinda need a haircut. Ugh everything is telling me to go home again but like, it's such a waste of time and I have an exam Monday so it's impractical to do so. I guess I could go buy another hat, and gloves could wait. I'll just start soaking my hair, I guess.
Oh yea, the DC food posts. I decided to take a break from those because there's been so much repeating meals/dishes that it's a waste of posts, really. Instead, I'll picture new and rare dishes that are served.
----
I went people watching a little bit a few days ago, in between classes (after these exams I'll definitely do it again). I realized something that I wasn't able to figure out before. I realized that people, at least by their junior year, have found their "niche" in college, if you will. I don't know if people adapt to other niches, or do they create their own niches. Either case, a niche is common for upperclassmen. It's almost like home, except it's not strictly physical but more psychological. This is almost always a good thing.
The problem is, though, that once you have this niche, it's sometimes difficult to adapt to another. You always tend to go back to the niche when possible, and when you do, that's when your niche resolves your emotional and psychological tensions that others can't. Now, what if you don't really have that niche after a year or two in college? What if you never really found people who share similar things, like the same stuff, or even enjoy your company? You try to adapt into existing niches, yet while those niches may welcome you, the chances of you really adapting into this new niche, and the niche integrating you entirely, is another story.
This also describes some cases where a group of people began to know each other, establish "friendship," yet over time learned who themselves and others truly are, and the niche dissolved into, at least you as an, individual(s). What do you do then? It's like freshmen year all over again, except most people have their niches already, and now you technically don't.
'Cause then you begin making shallow friends who may stay on the surface for the rest of your lives. You may only know them by name, by what they study, and never their persons.
Well, you're kinda screwed. Because when you don't have a best friend, life really really sucks. I think this may as well be the reason why a lot of people hated high school because of phonies. I guess at this point, keep an open mind and be approachable, because the opposite is simply not the answer. Maybe someday you'll find a home for yourself. >.<
On the other end of the spectrum, you could also have found a beautiful niche filled with lovely and down-to-earth people who you know like siblings, without all the strangers' formality and such (I'm sure you know what I'm talking about).
How do you gauge this family that you've found? I don't know, really. I remember talking about having no expectations so anything becomes nice, pleasant surprises, but that is a depressing way to live.
The thing is though, I feel like a lot of my friends are simply growing apart from me. Or-I rather not think this-that they're never my real friends because they're just being friendly. Either case, though, I feel like everyone is slowly turning into different persons and I no longer know them. And then as I try to make new friends, the similar strangers effect thing comes into play, and you never know if they really want to be your friend. Obviously (almost) no one would just tell you in your face that they don't want to be your friend (...except this one person I know who would do that, but he's an exception).
I really really hate this feeling.
I mean, do you try to be nice or honest? That fine line cannot be redrawn after crossed. I mean, no one would play the honestly card unless a friendship requires such measure for one side to end or restore the friendship. But it is the choice of being nice or honest that leads to the need play that honestly card that could very well end something.
Sadly, I it comes down to if you like the person or not. It's gotten brutally simple. You walk through the garden of life, and you see all the different beautiful creations all around you. If you were to pick the ones you really like, you'll only pick a few, despite how beautiful the others look, there will only be a few that you truly like.
I used to think that many things are mutual. I'm sorry for those who had to learn this the hard way.
One of my favorite quotes by Jonathan Foer says
I regret that it takes a lifetime to learn how to live.I'm only 21, and there's still so much for me to learn. This quote, however, has always been on my mind ever since I finished Foer's book. The lessons that you learn in life can only be learned after you experience them, and sometimes the experience may come too late, and the lesson too harsh. I took this quote as a warning that it is not easy to live, and things abandoned cannot be retrieved all the time.
Why go through the bother to love everyone you meet when you know that not everyone will stay with you? Do I have enough pieces of my heart to give out? I do realize that before the day, it won't be easy, that I would want to give up constantly, that I would hurt. Is it worth it on the day when someone returns something back? Is it worth the equivalent exchange? I hope so.
Yea, I don't miss relationships. I miss love.
Monday, October 15, 2012
song of the week #20
Detective Conan Movie 16 - The Eleventh Striker theme:
Haru Uta by Ikimono-Gakari
Hope you otakus out there enjoy this :P
Friday, October 12, 2012
Thursday, October 11, 2012
wow real
Stats exam. Forgot to round answers to 3 decimal places. I read that as 3 sig fig. aklfdja;fjdkal;fd jfdska *points at myself* this guy.
And also, my brain decided to get stuck at the thoughts of S for literally 15 mins. Wasted 15 mins on the exam. Thankfully I knew my stuff. Thanks brain >.>
And also, my brain decided to get stuck at the thoughts of S for literally 15 mins. Wasted 15 mins on the exam. Thankfully I knew my stuff. Thanks brain >.>
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
schoolgirl
You said he made you feel like a school girl.
You know, I never actually knew what you meant by that. Maybe it was the way you said it. Maybe I was thinking too much. Was it just him? Or was it more of you?
How did I make you feel? Do I really care at this moment? We don't even talk anymore. What did I get from you last time, my name in all caps and nothing after? What did that mean? What were you trying to do? Were you even trying to do anything?
I think I know what you meant now.
I think I can say, this time, that it's not too late to know. Not to save what we had because it wasn't anything to you, but now I know the truth for myself.
You know, I think it might be time to open up that box and read those....letters from you. It's probably the only closure I'd ever have.
You know, I never actually knew what you meant by that. Maybe it was the way you said it. Maybe I was thinking too much. Was it just him? Or was it more of you?
How did I make you feel? Do I really care at this moment? We don't even talk anymore. What did I get from you last time, my name in all caps and nothing after? What did that mean? What were you trying to do? Were you even trying to do anything?
I think I know what you meant now.
I think I can say, this time, that it's not too late to know. Not to save what we had because it wasn't anything to you, but now I know the truth for myself.
You know, I think it might be time to open up that box and read those....letters from you. It's probably the only closure I'd ever have.
I don't care if I break, at least I'll be feeling something
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
updateupdatedupdate
 |
| Just....look at this beauty. |
I had the option to choose between gray (or black I forget) or white. Since my old X10 was black, I decided to switch it up a bit and go with the lighter (literally) feel.
I'll see if I can take more pictures of my new baby, with something else 'cause I don't think I can take a picture of my phone with my phone. YEP. If you find out something that does it, let me know ;)
I also got a phone case, but it came after the phone so it's not pictured. I'll definitely grab another camera for more photos! Oh yea, case is transparent. Cool is the right word.
--
Went home for the long weekend...well I went home for like a day and a half, and I came back. Sure weekend back I know, I went back mainly for some winter clothes and restock on snacks and whatnot...omg speaking of snacks, I got too much. Really. Just look:
Yea this is a lot, at least for me xD
It's also gotten quite cold out, so you can legitimately experience all four season in one week. Good job New England *nervous laughter*
Been sleeping way too late. It's almost 1 am so I'm gonna head off really really soon. Today's been busy, woke up...past noon, ate, read, went to the mall and wasted A GOOD 4 HOURS because 1)the bus decided that it didn't want to go to the mall the first route because (unknown reason) there's a potato on the floor or something, 2) this homeless-looking woman on the bus couldn't decide what stop she wanted to get off, so she stopped the bus at every possible stop and peeked out the door; got the bus driver quite upset but oh well 3)ONCE AGAIN the bus threw a tantrum or something and didn't come at 5:20 and we waited almost 45 mins for the other one. It was freezing out :(
On another note, my awesome friend Ariel is HAVING HER RECITAL IN RENO BUT IT'S SO FAR AWAY AND I CAN'T GO. Everything I think of this I get so sad :( She like inspired me to go back to piano again and now she's having her recital and I can't be there :'( I know she'll be great. I'm sorry, beyond great, she's gonna stun her audience so much that everyone got fireworks for her and stuff. No doubt ;)
Ariel, you'll do great! I miss you!! xD
----
Oh, I got an idea. Let's list out the things that school has been preventing me from doing:
- Writing Leira... this makes me sad, because this will take a while and I want to get it done as soon as possible >< Actually, make this as play the keyboard because I haven't even touched the keyboard really in two-three weeks :(
- Read for fun. Honestly there's been so much reading I haven't been able to catch up; there's like 75% of HeLa I need to read, and LOTS of history, and some biochem. Essentially, I have assigned readings for all classes and it sucks.
- Gym. Seriously if I go to gym I lose so much time for reading / homework that I'll just end up sleeping late.
- Grocery shopping. And I guess cooking too. We have a completely renovated kitchen that I haven't even touched yet. What is this.
- Game. I played like one match of LoL today and that was only because I finished my essay. I still need to read HeLa but I just couldn't read and work with words anymore so I had to stop or my brain was gonna melt.
And WORK prevents me from doing HOMEWORK. You can see how everything stacks upon each other and everything is just brown cow crazy. I'm not really trying to complain about my 20 credits and my job because I got myself into this (damnit even that sounds negative) but I guess I'm just trying to organize my desires and workload here, so I get a clearer sense of my school year and how to improve my time management. Or something. But yea I'm still complainin'. Sowwy :3
Ok, last two things.
First, I definitely haven't posted this yet but...I broke my high school graduation mug :( I was trying to open the window a few days ago, and I stepped towards the window from the side of my desk and tried to open it but had no leverage. As I tried to shift my weight and move in closer to the window I accidentally pushed the shelf on my desk and my mug happened to be on it. The shelf FELL FORWARD and the mug just...died :( It was a very sad day. After I went back home for Columbus weekend I got another mug from home, but it's not the same. Oh well, be more careful and never put my mug (or anything...breakable) on my shelf. Too risky because I'm a derp sometimes.
Second. Food:
Dinner Sunday:
Dinner today (Columbus)
Alright, I'm gonna go shower and hit the hay. G'night peeps :) I'll post more tomorrow...I hope. Maybe when I work.
song of the week #19
Yea, another one week unplanned hiatus. Hopefully this new piece of music I found on tumblr will make up for it xD Hope you enjoy!
Monday, October 1, 2012
your story
(It took me a while but I finally found the old post I wanted to link)
Do you have a story to tell? Or rather, do you realize you have a story to tell? I remember back in the day when I said something like I feel like my life wasn't worth telling. While I did say that, look at this blog; it's all my story. Maybe it's dull to some people, but this is my life. When I look back on it, it pulls my heart strings; it gives me laughter; it sends chills through my spine; it sometimes breaks my heart to see what I went through yet glad that I did; it reminds me of the busy school days or the days that I just did nothing; it reminds me of all the great people in my life, even though they're always on my mind anyways.
It's a book with bookmarks on every page.
We had to watch a video about the Main Wabanaki-State Child Welfare Truth and Reconciliation for my Indigenous Peoples class. It talked about how the Native Indian children were taken away from their native homes by the whites because white people had this theory that those kids would be "better off" when raised by white people. Conditions ended being abusive in all ways possible, and the few who lived and are willing to share their experiences tell of the stories of the lost of humanity in a history that cannot be undone. They aimed to tell everyone their stories in hopes that it will strengthen and sooth future culture clashes, and may that history never happen again. (If you're interested in the video, here it is.)
Keeping your story is not going to help with healing.
My...friend once said this to me:
The word, to strong, so ruthless, so unforgiving. So powerful, and so weak. To think that all we know can be conveyed in words, mere shaped vibrations. So useless, so worthless. How ignorant, to think that we can better understand these symbols, than the true meaning itself. Can we not understand each other by the expressions on our faces? Can we not comprehend the looks in our eyes? Must we use such words to sum up our feelings? Surely words, however eloquent, cannot truly convey the speaker’s thoughts. Can we not look at each other, and instantly understand what the other is thinking, without the need for an explanation? “I didn't mean to say that” “that came out wrong” “I shouldn't have said that” I have a note for the perfectionists and the speakers: I didn't mean to say anything, that always came out wrong, that was never meant to be said. Can I not convey my feelings with my eyes? Will they not understand? “You know when…” “You don’t have to explain” “I know what you mean” “same as me” “all the time” Are we the only ones who say this? No. I can answer that question. No. Are we the only ones who truly mean it? That, I cannot. No words. Just a picture. Just a feeling. Just a connection. Just? Only? In our world. This strange connection. No words. Just a look, just a feeling, just a picture, just a song. Just look into our eyes. Just glance at our expressions. Just look long enough to notice the twitch in our faces. And yet I am conveying this all in words. There is no other way. We can do without. They will look at us and not know what we’re thinking. They need the words. They need these words to understand this. They do not need to know us. They only need to know our words. Our brows are our thoughts. Our lips are our tone of voice. Our expressions are our feelings. Our eyes are our words.
This kinda relates to the closeness that D was talking about. It's simple; I...no longer have such a friend around me. I put words down because it's my only way of conveying my feelings. I no longer have someone to tell my story to face to face.
Do you have a story to tell? Or rather, do you realize you have a story to tell? I remember back in the day when I said something like I feel like my life wasn't worth telling. While I did say that, look at this blog; it's all my story. Maybe it's dull to some people, but this is my life. When I look back on it, it pulls my heart strings; it gives me laughter; it sends chills through my spine; it sometimes breaks my heart to see what I went through yet glad that I did; it reminds me of the busy school days or the days that I just did nothing; it reminds me of all the great people in my life, even though they're always on my mind anyways.
It's a book with bookmarks on every page.
Keeping your story is not going to help with healing.
My...friend once said this to me:
The word, to strong, so ruthless, so unforgiving. So powerful, and so weak. To think that all we know can be conveyed in words, mere shaped vibrations. So useless, so worthless. How ignorant, to think that we can better understand these symbols, than the true meaning itself. Can we not understand each other by the expressions on our faces? Can we not comprehend the looks in our eyes? Must we use such words to sum up our feelings? Surely words, however eloquent, cannot truly convey the speaker’s thoughts. Can we not look at each other, and instantly understand what the other is thinking, without the need for an explanation? “I didn't mean to say that” “that came out wrong” “I shouldn't have said that” I have a note for the perfectionists and the speakers: I didn't mean to say anything, that always came out wrong, that was never meant to be said. Can I not convey my feelings with my eyes? Will they not understand? “You know when…” “You don’t have to explain” “I know what you mean” “same as me” “all the time” Are we the only ones who say this? No. I can answer that question. No. Are we the only ones who truly mean it? That, I cannot. No words. Just a picture. Just a feeling. Just a connection. Just? Only? In our world. This strange connection. No words. Just a look, just a feeling, just a picture, just a song. Just look into our eyes. Just glance at our expressions. Just look long enough to notice the twitch in our faces. And yet I am conveying this all in words. There is no other way. We can do without. They will look at us and not know what we’re thinking. They need the words. They need these words to understand this. They do not need to know us. They only need to know our words. Our brows are our thoughts. Our lips are our tone of voice. Our expressions are our feelings. Our eyes are our words.
This kinda relates to the closeness that D was talking about. It's simple; I...no longer have such a friend around me. I put words down because it's my only way of conveying my feelings. I no longer have someone to tell my story to face to face.
This is why I write. I tell to heal.
This is why I give free hugs, because sometimes people don't know how to tell, or they don't have someone to tell their stories to. And sometimes, a hug is enough to make them feel better, a hug that says that someone cares.
This is why I give free hugs, because sometimes people don't know how to tell, or they don't have someone to tell their stories to. And sometimes, a hug is enough to make them feel better, a hug that says that someone cares.
--
C, I know for certain that I'm over everything. I also realize that I haven't seen you in almost two years. You know, I don't know what will happen if I do see you. Idk what string would be tugged, what won't. I don't know if I can look you in the eye and say what I wanted to say. I mean, I don't even have the courage to open that box. And yet, I still have it on me, keeping all that love with me. But...when I do see you, what do I have to say? I don't even know what to say. There's...nothing left to be said. You'd shown me, and that was clearer than words, and I had shown myself how much of a fool I was.
Maybe...it won't be hard, and I'm just making it harder because, well, I overthink things.
Sorry, just had to put that down on paper.
---
I think I'm gonna head off soon. Been sleeping too late zz I'll do brighter posts tomorrow/next time I post >.> Sorry peeps.
song of the week #18
Wow, I actually forgot to do this and posted a random post first. Oops, my bad xD
I haven't heard this song in a while, and I thought Kyle's variation (always :P) it pretty cool. Let me know what ya think? :)
Enjoy the rest of the week...BEFORE THE LONG WEEKEND. WITH TAKEN 2. Omg I'm like, through-the-roof excited ;)
I haven't heard this song in a while, and I thought Kyle's variation (always :P) it pretty cool. Let me know what ya think? :)
Enjoy the rest of the week...BEFORE THE LONG WEEKEND. WITH TAKEN 2. Omg I'm like, through-the-roof excited ;)
that hell week
As of an hour ago, my week had been chaotic and frantically busy. I think it's fair to say that this week defined the word "busy."
Let's see what I had: about 3 chapters of BioChem 523 to note, BioChem 523 test Monday (today), a Chem 551 exam last Friday, and about roughly 60 pages of history reading.
Idk if this sounds like a lot, but it was. Because I also have work 7-10 pm three days of the week. If I didn't have to prepare for exams, my week would have been so much less stressful, but I did, and it was mad stressful. My weekend consisted of just waking up, work, eat, work, eat, work, sleep, and I still ended up sleeping at 3 am. And after everything was done, I finally had time to dedicate my time to 523 studying today at 2 pm for my exam today at 7 pm. Hell week, indeed.
I did get a few things that got out of this week though. First of all, I need to dedicate more time to my organic chem class. Yep, because I got a 57.5 on my first exam. Even though it sorta translates to a B ish, it's still a failing grade. I went to class today expecting just a lecture, and my face went half pale when I saw the TA take out a stack of paper. Damnit, I didn't want to see my grade...more than half of the class failed, but w/e. Granted that I could only spare roughly 2-3 hours to study for that exam....I guess a 57 was deserved :(
Also, need to take notes for history rather than highlight. I just forget what I read afterwards, especially if I decide to read stuff in advance, which happens quite frequently.
Oh yea, my tutor sessions. My organic 2 tutee didn't show up Sunday. I was kinda sad. Hopefully I'll see her tomorrow. Actually, no one really showed up for tutor Sunday except for this one girl who did 30 mins before closing. Idk if I should be expecting anyone or something because I think I could have studied more rather than paying attention to who had walked in to look for a tutor. Oh well. I still love my job so it's ok :)
My 523 exam today went alright. I was expecting it to be harder, which is always good. I missed a few one-pointers but that's no biggie, not too worried about those.
Alright, on another note, I ordered a new laptop case for GliDos (my laptop, if you didn't know that :D), but it actually turned out to be too small for it. I literally just facepalmed, big time. I thought I got all the dimensions too, but he case was more rigid than I thought so it couldn't stretch like the one I have can. I just wanted more spare room for my laptop case... :(
As a result, I issued a return on Amazon got a giftcard, but now I gotta ship the case back. And you know what, I don't have packaging tape. Actually, no one has packaging tape. I'm so sad that I might have to go buy some, just to return an internet purchase :( I have a month to do so, and I guess I'll ask EVERYONE. Wish me luck? Yep.
OK ON A HAPPIER NOTE: I ORDERED MY NEW PHONE! It will be HTC One X. Look at this beauty.
JUST. LOOK. AT. IT. WILL YOU JUST LOOK AT IT. JUST LOOK AT THAT.
kudos to those who got the reference ;)
I'll post more pictures when it arrives. I think it should be here in two days too. 2 DAYS. How exciting is this?!
Also, found this incredibly great website yesterday. Please please please check it out: What if-xkcd
Oops, this is kinda getting long. I'll cut it off here, and maybe do another one later if I have more rant. I hope your week hasn't been as hectic as mine had been. I haven't even been able to celebrate my birthday for realz. :(
Later, my small number of readers out there :)
Let's see what I had: about 3 chapters of BioChem 523 to note, BioChem 523 test Monday (today), a Chem 551 exam last Friday, and about roughly 60 pages of history reading.
Idk if this sounds like a lot, but it was. Because I also have work 7-10 pm three days of the week. If I didn't have to prepare for exams, my week would have been so much less stressful, but I did, and it was mad stressful. My weekend consisted of just waking up, work, eat, work, eat, work, sleep, and I still ended up sleeping at 3 am. And after everything was done, I finally had time to dedicate my time to 523 studying today at 2 pm for my exam today at 7 pm. Hell week, indeed.
I did get a few things that got out of this week though. First of all, I need to dedicate more time to my organic chem class. Yep, because I got a 57.5 on my first exam. Even though it sorta translates to a B ish, it's still a failing grade. I went to class today expecting just a lecture, and my face went half pale when I saw the TA take out a stack of paper. Damnit, I didn't want to see my grade...more than half of the class failed, but w/e. Granted that I could only spare roughly 2-3 hours to study for that exam....I guess a 57 was deserved :(
Also, need to take notes for history rather than highlight. I just forget what I read afterwards, especially if I decide to read stuff in advance, which happens quite frequently.
Oh yea, my tutor sessions. My organic 2 tutee didn't show up Sunday. I was kinda sad. Hopefully I'll see her tomorrow. Actually, no one really showed up for tutor Sunday except for this one girl who did 30 mins before closing. Idk if I should be expecting anyone or something because I think I could have studied more rather than paying attention to who had walked in to look for a tutor. Oh well. I still love my job so it's ok :)
My 523 exam today went alright. I was expecting it to be harder, which is always good. I missed a few one-pointers but that's no biggie, not too worried about those.
Alright, on another note, I ordered a new laptop case for GliDos (my laptop, if you didn't know that :D), but it actually turned out to be too small for it. I literally just facepalmed, big time. I thought I got all the dimensions too, but he case was more rigid than I thought so it couldn't stretch like the one I have can. I just wanted more spare room for my laptop case... :(
As a result, I issued a return on Amazon got a giftcard, but now I gotta ship the case back. And you know what, I don't have packaging tape. Actually, no one has packaging tape. I'm so sad that I might have to go buy some, just to return an internet purchase :( I have a month to do so, and I guess I'll ask EVERYONE. Wish me luck? Yep.
OK ON A HAPPIER NOTE: I ORDERED MY NEW PHONE! It will be HTC One X. Look at this beauty.JUST. LOOK. AT. IT. WILL YOU JUST LOOK AT IT. JUST LOOK AT THAT.
kudos to those who got the reference ;)
I'll post more pictures when it arrives. I think it should be here in two days too. 2 DAYS. How exciting is this?!
Also, found this incredibly great website yesterday. Please please please check it out: What if-xkcd
Oops, this is kinda getting long. I'll cut it off here, and maybe do another one later if I have more rant. I hope your week hasn't been as hectic as mine had been. I haven't even been able to celebrate my birthday for realz. :(
Later, my small number of readers out there :)
I see a pattern
Lunch on Friday, Sep 28th:
 |
| It was bacon/chicken wrap but it was too rich with blue cheese :( |
Lunch on Sunday:
 |
| That's a seafood crepes! |
Dinner on Sunday, ran into my lovely friend Zach :D
 |
| Philly Steak Pita with Teriyaki sauce yumm |
Dinner today:
Yea, they have chicken and pad thai a lot haha...they're good most of the time so I'm not so much complaining, just pointing it out.
And of course, it's Oak Room; there's aaaaaalways spring rolls ;)
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