.

I just wanted to say that I've never really blamed you for hurting me. I know you needed to do what you needed to do, whatever it was. 

The only thing is I wish you had told me earlier when something was off and be adamant, and not tell me I was perfect when I asked. I needed to know if something is up. 

But I know I can never bring myself to blame you for anything or for hurting me. I still do love you; that hasn't changed....so to me, it still feels like it's us against a problem. 

But now I'm not in your life anymore, please go be happy. I wish I could apologize to your parents, to your siblings, for not being the right man, for hurting you, for wasting your time. I understand if they dislike or even hate me, because I pretty much deserved it. I have a lots of regrets, and I'm praying everyday for God to help free me from them. 

God's joy is the only way for me to be happy now. I have no one else to go to. 

But please, do everything that makes you happy. Please be happy. You said I can't do it, so please, be happy. 




I'm thinking about maybe adding a password or something on my blogger cause it's getting pretty personal. I doubt anyone reads it anyway though. But if I end up doing it, and you still want to read my posts, just ask me. 

Hope you are doing well.