a bit spontaneous

Idk, I was falling asleep and it just randomly hit me. I should be asleep but I just had to put this down.

A new floormate I befriended recently had a status that was about cuddling, saying that she likes cuddling and what's the matter with that? I responded with a picture of a ginormous dog being cuddled by a girl and said, of course, nothing is wrong with liking to cuddle.

But then it just occurred to me. Why do we even hug? Who do we hug, and WHEN? It's when things aren't well, isn't it, when we need them the most. Do we hug because we want to love? Be loved, since hugging means being hugged also? Now comes the tricky part: When do we actually go for hugs? When should we? Just like my anthropology class mentioned today, it differs from culture to culture, but for most of us, hug and being hugged is normal. But do we want to hug/be hugged or to cuddle/be cuddled? With this question, the act of hugging someone has turned into the different levels of love you give and receive. It gets complicated, doesn't it: If you hug, you get a hug; if you cuddle, you might either get a hug or a cuddle back, because you can tell if the other person wants to cuddle or not.

Now when I think back to that question, the answer is a bit different. It's just too naive to think that you would get the same level of love back simply from a hug. You can really feel it. It is nothing wrong with it, because if you want to give some love, it's the simply way. But if you're looking for something in return, then look elsewhere.

Yes. It is not like everyone always want to give cuddles. Hugs are still different from cuddles, because the two deliver different messages.

Now I feel like I know why I felt...spontaneous about this...

pce.

some love in the world

It happened so unexpectedly and took us both by surprise. We both were hesitant about the situation but it just worked. The secrets and sneakiness made the thrill of it all so much more exciting! It was easy, it was simple but it was new, it was exciting and was fresh. It was different from anything we had ever felt before. Right now, though, I feel weak. I feel clingy, but it's never hit me this hard before. I don’t want to regret not saying things to you before you leave, so here it is…..

This thing between is unexplainable. It cannot be described because I can’t seem to be able too. The words and the concepts just don’t seem to match what it actually is. Every time I got a text or thought about you my stomach would get all funny, like there were butterflies where organs should be. I felt like a little kid again.

If I didn't know any better I'd say I'm falling in love with you but enough to know that the adventure your about to go on is one that I’m not going to hold you back on or make things harder for you. I’m so excited for you but so incredibly sad to see you go. You have taught me so much and made me feel like I have something to look forward to again in the future. Don’t be scared or nervous because being young is such an exciting time and you officially have the world at your feet, the world is now your oyster.

The time I have spent with you has made me look forward to the next time we see each other, whether it be tomorrow, next month, next year, 10 years from now or when you finally return from this exciting journey your about to take part on. It is the best feeling knowing that some of your best days are just waiting to be lived out. Doing anything with you seems extraordinary to me.

I’m lucky to say I have you as a friend. I’m proud of you because you’ve never let me down.

While it lasted we had some of those things some people are yet to experience. We are the lucky ones, to meet somebody and get along so well instantly. To have a crazy connection with somebody you barely know but it’s something you hear people talk about and read about. While we had it it’s was real, it was great, it was really great.

What are two years, 730 days, 17520 hours? I want this letter to be something you can read and feel like you miss me but remember I’ll be seeing you soon, no goodbyes or never seeing each other again just I’ll miss you until you come back. We could have had a great story but instead this is it for now and what happens next is up to this huge universe.

Whatever you choose to do in your life to be, you will do amazing things, I may be young, I may be foolish, I may be naïve but you have so many experiences and times to come that will blow you away. I hope you keep in contact and make me jealous about all the amazing times you experience in Canada. Make memories that will make you speechless. Blow yourself away with the things you can achieve and surprise yourself. Do crazy things just to say you did them. Let yourself be wild, live with no regrets but be true to yourself.

The times we spent together and the little memories we shared I will keep them close until there is another time to make new ones again. I want that night where we laid in your bed with nervous hands, our shoulders touched and you kissed me and I couldn’t stop smiling.

And we are stronger than we think.

So I will move on. But I just needed you to know that I think of you. And miss us. But I am moving on. I hold a place for you, that is filled with pain and love and forgiveness.

I forgive you for hurting me and for not knowing that you did. I wish you the best. Maybe if the timing had been different...maybe if you were different..

Maybe we'll never know.

 

Le Love

anonymous

I used to look at her feed and think she always picked the perfect nail polish. Staring at her jaw line and her eyelashes she was exactly how I always pictured my girlfriend to look. Flipping her hair to one side, her mouth half open she looked up from her book, paused and said with a snip, "what?!?"

"I'm just looking." I countered, startled I was caught in mid-lurker gaze. Truth is, I wanted her to notice because I was too much of a pussy to look at her head on for any other reason. This is the moment that I remember. The moment that was the most intense. The moment both of our faces looked at each other head on. The drives, the movies, the sex...you never realized just how rare it is to hve two people look directly at each another.

I took advantage of the moment; I breathed in her exhale and felt the swoon they speak of in books. Like your hair is slowly melting across your forehead causing your eyes to close and your chin to lift.

God himself couldn't envision anything so pristine.
She was made for forehead kisses.
She was made to accentuate reflected light.
She was made to float when she walked.
She was made good.
Good enough to love someone who didn't deserve her love.

She was made for me.

- anonymous

8 hours left, gonna get a good night sleep.

 

- if only the sky knows your feelings