be you

""

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakeable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is in your heart.

I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.

Your eternally interested guy,

Daddy

Happy International Women’s Day

Source

""

the last question

I came across this sci-fi short story, The Last Question by Isaac Asimov. I just finished it and would like to respond a little bit on it.

Spoiler alert! I mean I'll try not to spoil anything...just go read the story first lol

I think it's beautifully written and weaved, the way Asimov did. The progression with the oneness of the question and mind worked out quite well because it reflects some common, yet unanswerable questions we have ourselves. I guess over the course of the different scenes I hoped for an actual answer from the AC but about half way through it's clear that it wasn't going to actually give an answer, because hey, we don't know the answer ourselves either.

An interesting part was anticipating how the characters from each scenes arrived at that question, and also how AC's answer varied slightly every time the question was asked. I feel like there is something in its wordings, but I don't see anything that really stood out. Maybe I'm just missing it >.>

In any case, however, the ending was the best part of the story. It tied everything together so perfectly and delicately. Best twist I've ever read in a long while.

Just go read it if you haven't, absolutely loved it :)

there goes half of my blog

I just more or less deleted half of my blog posts, namely the ones tagged "a click of the tongue," which was the title of my old blog. Basically I had about 516 posts before the cleaning today. Now I have...269. Nice.

Other than most of the things, thoughts, and history that I "deleted," I found a few things that I wanted to keep, so if you click the tag on the right side of my blog you can still find them.

Anyways, that's that.

I'm sick and feel sick. I haven't gotten sick in like almost a year now, but now I'm all congested and sore and all that good sickness jazz. >.> Yea, it's called Nemo. Who's naming these storms, anyway?

Also, I need to more in more images into my posts so it's friendlier.

I think I might play a little DS3 before I look at my biochem homework.

Aaaaaand there goes my unknown neighbor screaming at God-knows-what again.

what sorts of influence?

We usually have the TV on during dinner time, even though we don't have any legit movie channel subscriptions. We manage to find something to watch. Usually it's either the usual shows: White Collar on Tues, Royal Pains on Wed, Burn Notice on Thurs. Other days we watch random movies. 

Today, for some reason, my brother decided to watch Big Bang Theory. I wasn't actually paying attention but when I realized that it was on TV-that we're watching it-all of a sudden this sense of disgust just came over me and I just grabbed my earphones and dropped by a a random YouTube video and watched that instead. Now don't get me wrong here, I don't actually hate the show or anything. I'm pretty sure it was because that my ex loved the show. I just simply didn't want to watch that, at all. I mean, someone changed the channel fairly soon, but it dawned on me that I was disgusted by something I don't even watch in the first place, that I randomly hated that show just because of her, and I didn't even realize until I was actually watching it. 

I mean, seriously? I thought I was better than this. 

I don't know but, maybe the show isn't all that funny to me anyway, at least from the glimpse of it today. 

*sighs* whatever. It's not like I have to watch this show or something. My shoulder's tense for some reason, so I think I'm just gonna shower and head off. Yea guess what it's only 11:12 PM. I recall that last time I actually blogged, with solid content, was like, 3 AM. 

Also, why the hell is my family always in a bad mood. Wth. 

I keep finding myself lightbulbing things to blog about, maybe a couple of times a day, but then forget everything when I decide to open blogger. I guess I need to start a "blogging list," huh? 

By the way, found a texting buddy today. T'was a good day at that. 

Oh well that's it for today, g'night peeps :) 

suggestion?

So I'm thinking of doing a weekly thing with a song, so like a song of a week thing. That way I can at least post once per week xD What do you guys think? :3 


Oh yea so the post office opens tomorrow...so letters shall be sent tmw xD 


Also, take a read at this article. :') RIP Marina Keegan. I never knew you, but everything you said I've felt before and I am sure to say that we are rather alike. You and your words will be in my thoughts tonight. Rest in peace, Marina. 

summer days 2

Alright, let's try this again. 


Signing up for MCAT means that I've got a ton of stuff to study. I will probably also look for a part-time job but I don't know where to look since it's gotta be close to my house and all, and the closest one is BJ's haha. Well maybe I'll try there and see if I can find a decent job that isn't just straight up manual labor. 

I keep having minor headaches every morning for the past three days or so. I'm not sure why and it's really bothering me. Plus, I'm playing tennis later and it's not gonna end pretty if it keeps throbbing. =/ I mean the weather's great out so maybe it'll cease the moment I step out...meh. 


Hold on let me grab some food to munch.


Ok, got some fish and soy milk and bread. Yumm. 


Summer. The days without alarm clocks and calendar (actually that's a lie because I'd sleep in without an alarm lol); when you literally watch TV all day and it's fine. Of course you can do whatever you want unless you have a job, which sadly I don't :( But then also, in my case, I got stuff to do. I'm learning Rylynn on guitar (the song requires a partial capo and my capo is kinda up for the job...), a few other pieces of music on the piano, and lots of tennis and gym. And of course, MCAT as previously mentioned. 


Did I mentioned how the MCAT was $240? Why is it so damn expensive qq. 


By now, I believe that most of my old friends have come back from college already. I mean, a friend of mine just sent me a LAN party invitation this Friday. 


On another note, my parents want me to wake up like 7am every weekday to drive my brother to school. Uhhhhhhh no. I can drive him BACK, but I'm not gonna wake up that early. No way in hell. 


Mehh, I wanna go back to the commons in my old town and just sit under the tree and read or something. QQ. This town sucks there's nothing to do. Oh, speaking of that, I'll be moving back, actually :P Just don't know when or where (yea real plans..) But the plan is to definitely move back for my brother so he can be a junior at WHS. What a hassle to have moved away from WHS in the first place >.>


Well I gotta go do dishes and go research some medical schools and go get my brother and study and guitar and... lots of stuff. 


Oh yes, and the letters. They will be written today <3 


Later!

more letters

I've known Gravity by Sara Bareilles for a long time now. I've listened to it for a long time, and it's always been one of my favorites. 


But it wasn't until this morning when I realized what she meant. What the lyrics meant. 

I never wanted anything so much more than to drown in your love and not feel your rain. 

It haven't rained recently, but I figured it out. Well, I don't know if that's what she meant by her own lyrics, but this is what I felt, how I interpreted it. And you know, it's right, to not want to feel your rain but get drowned in your love instead; to not stand in the rain, let the molecules soak through your clothes, your skins, your bones, your soul, yet you are only trying to feel her soul, soaking through. Rain becomes her, and you become insignificant. Yet she's rain, and that's all she is. That's all she'll ever be, the periodic rain that sweeps you off your feet when it's here, then you're left in the cold when it's gone. But for some reason, you go back into the rain when it's here again, so you can just...feel. With that said...I still love the rain. Yes, the feeling may be true, but like I said, I still enjoy it. It reminds me again that there are things in this world that can touch my soul. And yea, it alllways reminds me of you, Ariel. Hope you are having fun back home :)


I think it is going to rain this weekend. I hope a storm comes. Ariel would love that. 


I can't keep blogging for too long because I have an exam in less than 4 hours, and I need more studying so I'm going to make this short. I got your letter(s) last night when I checked mail, and I read over it after finishing a lab report last night also. I gotta say, when I took the mail out of the mailbox, I was so excited that I finally got your letter x) Little did I realize that it was roughly four letters in one envelope until I opened it, and it gave me the best feeling in the world that I got mail in the mail. I guess I just want to say that noo, we are not on break or anything, I've just been really busy at random intervals and haven't been able to really blog well enough / read / write letters. If I find a good time to do so before finals and everything I will definitely do so, in which case would be next week/this weekend. But I must say, in the least, that I missed you and our conversations. You're right, it needs to happen again, soon if not during summer. *hug* 


On another note, it's my rooommate's birthday today :) Maybe we'll get wings, maybe we won't. Probably play cards, I think. Anyways, we will sure find something fun to do after my exam at 7. 


I guess I should head off now. Gotta go to a review session in an hour and a half. Best luck to exam-takers hah x) 

ironic

A friend was having a bad day and didn't sleep well. 


And what are the odds that lelove updated a post with someone who also just went through a similar thing? 


Write it out. Write out everything that is on your mind. It will help. Writing out my mind and thoughts have always helped me, and you should try it if you haven't. 


--


On another note, I guess I'm a little surprised that one of my best friends mistaken my birthday for my April fools one. I guess...it was expected too, not like it means anything since it was a prank, but I guess I was half-expecting it. I already had a feeling that we're drifting apart since we haven't talked in forever. afiejafkdhafueipwafhjlkf.


Gonna go read Hunger Games, then lunch, then lab. The weather is amazing out, hopefully I can find someone to play tennis.