big day tomorrow

Before I actually start my post, I want to say up front that I will be trying to post more positive things than the shitty things that are happening in my life. I may be putting those in my private blog instead but we'll see. :)

So basically, tomorrow is my Genzyme interview (11 am) and my physical chemistry exam (7 pm).

Now, normally I'm not this anxious about dressing up and talking about why I want to work at wherever I was interested in, but this is Genzyme, one of the best summer research internships out there (at least available). I'm one of the 36 interviewee who got picked out of who knows how many applied. If I get accepted I'll be doing research that may end up treating a deadly disease. When I see someone getting healthier and healthier or even saved from the light, I may be able to say, "hey, I helped make that happen."

I mean, about a month ago Genzyme just got FDA approved for their new MS drug Lemtrada, a drug that targets CD52, a protein present in T and B cells (so lymphocytes) that are believed to be behind the autoimmune response that causes the destruction of myelin sheathes. I remember I really wanted to know how the drug works, and this news definitely got me psyched up for interning at a biotechnology company.

I think in addition to the pre-med track, this is what I want to be able to do.

In addition to the pure awesomeness of the job and what I can contribute, it's good pay for an internship too ($15-18/hour?) ERMAHGAWD I want this position!!

Best best luck to me I need all of them x)

I think that's all I wanna talk about today. I should be heading off soon, got early class tmw. G'night readers.

LRC!

First tutor shift of this semester went rather well! Well, by "well" I mean no one showed up. I'm pretty sure it's because 1) it's a Sunday very early in the semester, and 2) it's a super bowl Sunday. I worked 2-7 pm today, and had food at the CC. Watched a bit of the game, basically saw the Ravens dominating. I went back to my tv-less dorm at the end of second quarter with 20-6 Ravens, I think.

Apparently there was a blackout? I wish I saw that lol. I'll look it up maybe tomorrow.

I've also noticed that I've been having less meat and more non-meats for meals. But then again I think I ordered wings a few times this past two weeks. They probably evened each other out. *shrug* Oh well, I can probably give myself a "you tried" star.

Ok. Rant. This BURA site is supposed to have all their projects and accepted students listed by TODAY. They only listed some students for about half of their projects. What the hell? What about the other ones? Seriously, they need to get their stuff together and decide already. Or just pick me, ya know, that works too.

Tomorrow's the end of add/drop period and if they don't get things sorted out by like noon tomorrow, I'm not gonna be happy camper. >:(

UGHHH. I'm very mad at this stuff. It's been driving me crazy.

conversations

Going to keep this short; gotta wake up 8 in the morning tomorrow for church. (We will see how that goes)

Today was the LRC training day for my tutor job. It went from 10 am to 3 pm, but ended earlier because we either were ultra-productive or they simply didn't plan much. I'd like to think it's both.

The session involved a breakfast intro, tutors group activities vs. SI activities, lunch, and discussions about experiences and suggestions. That sounds like a lot, but it wasn't. I mostly enjoyed the social aspect of it. We talked about our interests, what inspired us to do what we want to do, our plans, and suggestions for each other. I made two friends, one a returning tutor (pre-med track, biology / neuroscience guy), and another a freshman (biology / Spanish; I told her to double major instead of a Spanish minor) who will be working at the desk reception on Thursdays. I will be working Tues/Thurs/Sundays so I will see her there! I also share one hour on my Sunday shift with the other tutor, so this will be fun :) Plus, I get a 75 cent raise! :D I will be working 13 hours/week, and I'm actually pretty excited.

Nevertheless, the discussions and conversations pretty much light up my day. It was a good morning.

OK. All this research stuff is getting me all upset and anxious and annoyed. I need these 2 days to be over right now, or just let me know that I got in...........k bai.

So my friend's still sick from something, and I guess I've been showing much worrying and it's probably annoying people. I mean, I can't exactly tell how "annoying" I was being because I just wanted to know how her day was and wanna be helpful and all. I get the sense that people just wanna be left alone, and I get that sometimes too.

Can't find the balance between caring too little and caring too much. Blargh :(

Well, I'm glad another friend's feeling better. Why is everyone getting random sicknesses and then getting better but then some people get sick again? Ugh is there something viral going on or something :( I mean I even feel like I'm getting something...

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On another note, I tumblr'ed onto an image that, I think, described my "effort" so far and I think it lit a bulb in me. The quote goes as follows:

Somehow I guess I thought if I loved you enough and if I was good enough to you that you would love me back and I could finally get what I want at least once but I couldn't even do that and after all my efforts you still don't want or can't seem to love me like I love you

I wanna say a few things. First of all I agree with most of what (s)he's saying, but I realize that any effort doesn't always mean there will be an outcome, and therefore no one should expect one. Furthermore, that last line assumes that everyone loves the same way, and love has only one scale. What I have learned is that people love in their own ways. Maybe this one gesture means a whole lot to someone, while not as much to someone else. Or, maybe you don't think someone is loving you enough, but maybe the way that person is loving you is to their current best ability.

You need to just appreciate the presence of love, whether how deep or strong it is. If it is there, treasure it, because often times even that is hard to find.

That concludes my rant of the day. Heading off soon and I haz churchz tmw~

Sweet dreams, readers.

tutor

There was a tutee today at my LRC shift who came in for orgo 1 stuff. The session went for about 1.5 hours since no one was waiting and in the end, as I was explaining what she should look for in her professor's notes and what not (I said pay more attention to the mechanisms because that's where the detailed stuff are at), she asked me if I will be tutoring next semester also. I said I should be, and she said I should definitely do it again so she can come back for help. Apparently she got a 95 on her first exam because of me.

Instant self esteem booster. :D I love this job.

21

This is the year that many people are waiting for. The real year that declares that you are an adult. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is turning 21.

But yea I'm not really a drinker to begin with so I feel like it's just another birthday! Plus the expectations of other people for me to get hammered xD Yeaa probably not really gonna happen. I might drink a little, but I just kinda don't like to drink. *shrug*

Oh well, today was just as busy as any other day.

BUT. I do have a story and a half to tell.

So during my tutor shift last Sunday, someone came to me for tutor an hour into my shift. The training session did say that it was peer to peer, and I knew that, but for some reason it just didn't click then so I was little surprised about having the same tutee returning to me whenever they need help, etc. Anyways, So I helped her with organic 2 and the lab, and I gave her my shifts, and the session lasted for two hours.

Now yesterday (Tuesday), I came in for my shift, signed in, grabbed my name card, sat down, and saw her coming in. To be honest I was a bit excited to see her again, 'cause she was an awesome tutee (not to mention she's kinda cute :3) She has an organic exam Thursday so she wanted to come in for more questions. As we went over stuff, she told me that she came in early that day to find someone to tutor her organic, and the tutor who tried to help her did not get too far / was confusing. She said my way of explaining things just clicks with her. She also added that after our Sunday session she went home and did more problems and were able to do all of them without much trouble.

Honestly, this is like, the best birthday present ever. I'm not even kidding. It's the best feeling to know that your explanation and information are taken and absorbed; that it was put to good use, and it helped someone and they're happy.

Best. Feeling. Ever.

I love my job.

AND my other birthday present was the unexpected mini party my friends threw me after I came back to the room from studying. This is the awesome cake they bought:

Ice cream cakes are awesome! :D 

I think that's it for this post. It's almost 1:30 am and I have an appointment with the research department tomorrow at 10 am so I need some sleep x) Adv. organic exam FRIDAYYYYY AHHHH. AND biochem exam Monday. Really stressed out about this, but at least I'm looking forward to my LRC shift tomorrow ;) 

G'night guys!