motivation

I admit, laboratory work has its ups. Through dedication and some luck, the world of research continues to enrich people how everything works, with and against each other. 

While that is undoubtedly a crucial aspect in making life easier, there are also many things that a researcher cannot do. 

Things like these. 

Just a reason why I am doing what I'm doing. 

that hell week

As of an hour ago, my week had been chaotic and frantically busy. I think it's fair to say that this week defined the word "busy."

Let's see what I had: about 3 chapters of BioChem 523 to note, BioChem 523 test Monday (today), a Chem 551 exam last Friday, and about roughly 60 pages of history reading.

Idk if this sounds like a lot, but it was. Because I also have work 7-10 pm three days of the week. If I didn't have to prepare for exams, my week would have been so much less stressful, but I did, and it was mad stressful. My weekend consisted of just waking up, work, eat, work, eat, work, sleep, and I still ended up sleeping at 3 am. And after everything was done, I finally had time to dedicate my time to 523 studying today at 2 pm for my exam today at 7 pm. Hell week, indeed.

I did get a few things that got out of this week though. First of all, I need to dedicate more time to my organic chem class. Yep, because I got a 57.5 on my first exam. Even though it sorta translates to a B ish, it's still a failing grade. I went to class today expecting just a lecture, and my face went half pale when I saw the TA take out a stack of paper. Damnit, I didn't want to see my grade...more than half of the class failed, but w/e. Granted that I could only spare roughly 2-3 hours to study for that exam....I guess a 57 was deserved :(

Also, need to take notes for history rather than highlight. I just forget what I read afterwards, especially if I decide to read stuff in advance, which happens quite frequently.

Oh yea, my tutor sessions. My organic 2 tutee didn't show up Sunday. I was kinda sad. Hopefully I'll see her tomorrow. Actually, no one really showed up for tutor Sunday except for this one girl who did 30 mins before closing. Idk if I should be expecting anyone or something because I think I could have studied more rather than paying attention to who had walked in to look for a tutor. Oh well. I still love my job so it's ok :)

My 523 exam today went alright. I was expecting it to be harder, which is always good. I missed a few one-pointers but that's no biggie, not too worried about those.

Alright, on another note, I ordered a new laptop case for GliDos (my laptop, if you didn't know that :D), but it actually turned out to be too small for it. I literally just facepalmed, big time. I thought I got all the dimensions too, but he case was more rigid than I thought so it couldn't stretch like the one I have can. I just wanted more spare room for my laptop case... :(

As a result, I issued a return on Amazon got a giftcard, but now I gotta ship the case back. And you know what, I don't have packaging tape. Actually, no one has packaging tape. I'm so sad that I might have to go buy some, just to return an internet purchase :( I have a month to do so, and I guess I'll ask EVERYONE. Wish me luck? Yep.

OK ON A HAPPIER NOTE: I ORDERED MY NEW PHONE! It will be HTC One X. Look at this beauty.

JUST. LOOK. AT. IT. WILL YOU JUST LOOK AT IT. JUST LOOK AT THAT.

kudos to those who got the reference ;)

I'll post more pictures when it arrives. I think it should be here in two days too. 2 DAYS. How exciting is this?!

Also, found this incredibly great website yesterday. Please please please check it out: What if-xkcd

Oops, this is kinda getting long. I'll cut it off here, and maybe do another one later if I have more rant. I hope your week hasn't been as hectic as mine had been. I haven't even been able to celebrate my birthday for realz. :(

Later, my small number of readers out there :)

so....summer is here!

Herrro, readers, so the morning plan didn't go as expected because, well, my alarm didn't go off and I ended up sleeping in. But that's ok because I'm here to blog! Hahaha...alright enough with the justifications. 

Haha this is like me during summer, but without the vacuum

That finals week was pretty much horrendous because of the consecutive exams and the report one day after another. Thankfully though, I did very well on my orgo and that will give me at least three A's. So far looking good for my GPA :D 


Now I think of it, I actually have a lot of things to talk about. How my semester ended, my college career is now half way over, the people I met, got to know, and loved; the plans for the summer, the resolutions, the goals, plans for next year, possible minor in something else other than the science field, and so much more. 


But what I really want to get to is the people part. 


But I shall get into each topic one by one. 


My semester ended with those chaotic finals, but actually I'm gonna omit the topic of finals because I will simply end up complaining about the amount of work and stuff even though for the most part they turned out decent. My roommate and I kinda fell into this big swirl of laziness at the end of classes and a little before finals. That said, it meant like we started picking up video games and such, which was obviously not the best idea to do prior to the finals week but yet we both end up doing well (because we're beast like that, of course :D) I also learned a few new card games over that period, like Mao, Spades, and Rummy (I think there are other ones but I forget, but it's k). Also I'll be in a triple with an old high school friend next year along with Mike. We shall be living literally 2 minutes from the dining hall (and not on the atrocious hill) also so I'm definitely looking forward to that. :D 


Oh yea, it also just hit me a few days before school got out that I would be half way done with college, and then the real world will literally be in my face. As exciting as that sounds, it's a bit frightful also because I'm not sure if I can get into med school and if not, what am I gonna do? Probably some research job or graduate school. But then that experience wouldn't be real life yet, wouldn't it? Idk I just gotta kick up a few notches and bang out this MCAT this summer and the next if necessary. This means that most likely no job for me this summer *hmm*. 


Now, back to the topic I wanted to talk about. 


I've met so many new people this year. And honestly it's probably the best thing I can say about this year is sole fact that I made so many more friends this semester. It's a bit sad how we will be all scattered around campus next year but that doesn't stop friends from fun, right? 

I gotta say, I've found that the definition of love have changed numerous of times for me during this semester. From those whom I've met, the things they said, other events, what I felt from others-just many different things that shifted the once adamant meaning of love a bit. An example would be that I have constantly found myself to see if there is love around to be found, but after this semester, after being with so many lovely people and faces, I realized that I don't want a relationship because at this stage, love is too fragile to keep any two people together, and I hate that reality. I know it's different for me because I will try, but I can't say for the other person and I don't want history to repeat. Some might say that you want to experience love first, but that sort of love is not worthy. If you don't love someone enough to keep trying, why start it in the beginning? You don't just try it without committing yourself. If you try it, commit. 


Yea, I know I might be missing out on the most precious and irreplaceable feelings, but I don't want to lead myself in or be led on again when nothing was ever there. I rather not experience love if that's the cost.  


Unless someone will try as much as I do to keep up a relationship, I will not tread into that territory. 


^ Just want to lay all of that down for now. What else...ah, so this summer, need to work out, study a shit load for MCAT, take MCAT, be awesome, lots of tennis, go for a huge reunion in boston when possible...uhh....yea hopefully more fun things to come.


I'm thinking of minoring in chemistry at the moment but I'm also thinking of minoring in graphics and animation instead of chemistry. Majoring in biology and minor in animation was once my goal back in high school, so I'm reconsidering it. I'm just not sure what I need to take to do that minor. Honestly, if I end up not doing the chemistry minor I can do totally combine animation and biochemistry into one and make kickass animations. :D 


Alright I think that's it for now...damn this is a long post. Whatever! Gotta go do some chores and then hit up a friend or two for tennis :D I should be able to visit a friend of mine in Providence early next week but we'll see :) Also, I'm gonna be a book worm this summer and like finish all the books in the world or something :) 


That's it, hopefully your summer (or near summer) is coming along nicely. Catchya later~ 

spring, sick, loaded die

Sorry for not blogging in a while, it's been a bit crazy in terms of workload and such. With spring break over the horizon, every professor is stacking work on exams on work altogether. Pardon my breathing space, homework, while I blog a bit. 


Wow, so I haven't blogged in almost two weeks, terribly sorry. The work load I have for this week was originally four lab reports and two exams to deal with, but as of now I have one exam and one report left (since I finished the other items already xD). I'm definitely less stressed with two items left, even though one of them is still the upcoming orgo exam 2 on wednesday. I've covered about roughly 50% of my notes on the material, and I plan on going over another 25% if possible tonight. 


The weather has cleared up big time; it was 30 this morning but it hit 70 today. It was almost unbearable as I saw people playing frisbee and tanning and just having a good time outside while I was stuck inside studying for my physics test (which turned out much easier than expected...wasted all that time for little rewards =/ oh well). Even with this amazing weather, I think I caught a cold last night (don't even ask how I have no clue) and I've had a running nose and congestion all day long. Sucks. 

Therefore, I'm getting green tea and see if it helps :) 


So, what happened these days...ah, I was able to get dinner with a new friend, t'was very fun. Need to do that again :) Anddd Mikers came to visit last weekend! He could have totally stayed more than a night, but I guess he didn't love us enough xP Just kidding, it's awesome enough for him to actually come up too. 


Btw, I got a twitter...yep. @salaheonerezza I'm still confused by most of it, but follow it up~ 


Even though I was keeping myself busy, that some fun things happened, and that I tried a few things and they went decently well...even then, idk, I still feel down and I don't know why. I think it's pretty much a fact that I have forgotten how to be genuinely happy. *sigh* Maybe I'll just surf the web...


---30 mins later---


Omg, I just surfed reddit this whole time, fml....


OK ANYWAYS. I need to get some studying done, get a hot shower in, and head off. 


I miss the times when I just read something amazing until I fall asleep. 

goal for the semester

So for those who don't know, I'm learning this piece on piano. Well, more like relearning it since last year since I never finished it. But the goal is to finish this piece by the end of the semester! Good luck to me ^^

old texts

*About me moving to a different town*

Me: Well, it feels like going away. 

You: You're not going that far away.

I don't know what got me to look at those old texts. Maybe I was just cleaning out some stacked message threads; maybe I was just scrolling all the way to the bottom and saw people that only I start to text; maybe it was because of the names; maybe because I should have deleted those a while ago. 


Yes, it is far away. Even though it's only about 2-3 miles away from my old town, now I never really leave the house unless I have a car. Do you know what that means? It means that when it gets too quiet, and the silence too loud, my heart will decide that it misses everyone. 


And having a car is actually a decently rare occasion. 


That means that I usually just stay home and, unfortunately, be antisocial. Of course, I try to hang out with people, but now that I live an inconvenient distance from everything (literally everything and everywhere), hanging out is farther down the drain than I wanted it to be. 

from imgfave

You know, it's not just your text. There are so many others in which conversations began because of me, and it stacks from my side for a few in a row until there's a reply. Or, it'd be a few weeks before the friend says "hi." 

I don't know, why do I try? 


*sigh* All of this past and memory thing are coming back to annoy me again. =/ So tired. 


I want a dog. 


LoL, some reading and homework, maybe pingpong, then bed. Peace. 

headache once again

Aye..here's the headache in the morning again. I'm pretty sure my headache wasn't catching a breeze from the window at all last night. Maybe my arm was kinda not under the covers...idk, I have a headache again =/ Time to look for the tylenol my parents took from me...


And then again with the weird dreams! Omg, this time like it was that big monster cloud thing from Green Lantern that was destroying the world, and I like had a newborn baby to protect and I apparently got shot in the back, but it was hokay (lol). I like hid in buildings and places and such. I don't remember if I actually got rid of the monster but what I know is the dream was absolutely intense and that's probably why I woke up with a headache lol. Oh well, woke up a bit late anyways, so much for having slept really well the day before. 


Got like actual artsy paper from Michael's today. Gonna write back to my pen-pal now :D One last week till I go back to school! Can't wait. 


And Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close comes out in four days. I think I'll see who's around still and grab peeps to go see that, if they want :) So excited! 


Bought Trees of Codes and Walking Back to Happiness, so I have two books to start my semester. Good step for my "resolution," I think, haha. 

three more weeks

Let's do a little recap. Winter break started more than two weeks ago, and there are three more weeks left of it. Honestly, this break is too long. I want to go back next week. QQ. A goal for me was to start studying for MCAT, but I realized that there are actually more stuff that I haven't learned yet than I anticipated (as in I will learn next semester). So I can only do so much for the studying so far. Oh well. 


A few goals for this new year. 

1. I'm gonna make a collage. First for 2011, then take more photos or 2012. 
2. Be happier; this, of course, doesn't mean that I can throw away my past and forget about it 'cause it will go wherever I go. But I'll do it nevertheless.
3. Create/learn about more awesome mixes on 8tracks.
4. Read more for fun.
5. Have a drama-less year.
6. Get a 4.0.
7. Find a worship place at college.
8. Sleep earlier.
9. Make more friends.
10. Be more active and get in shape.

May there be more to come, hah. That's it for now. Hope your day's coming along awesome :)