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I don't know what to say, besides from saying I hope you're okay. 

I know God will take care of you if you lean into Him. And I'm glad I can't do any more damage. 

I hope you're able to get out of the program so you don't have to travel so far away from your family. 

I also feel I don't know how I can face you again. Or your parents. Or your siblings. I can't say sorry enough for how much of an ungodly person I was. I know I'll just melt into a pathetic mess. If God wants me to do it, then I will. Just whatever God wants me to do. 

I still pray for you and I hope you are letting God work in your life too. That way, I know you'll find joy, and that's enough for me. 

I love you, and I'm sorry. I know that you went through a lot that I didn't even know you went through, and I set expectations on you that no one can live up to. I should have been more understanding, and I should have loved you like Christ loved the church but I didn't know how to cause I didn't know who I was. I looked like I had a relationship with God but I didn't. I'm ashamed, and I'm guilty. But I'm changing me. I don't have expectations on you. You just go at the pace God's got you going. He's still working on me. 

- JF