view from heaven

I had a texting conversation with a friend of my last night. He was with his grandma and keeping her company as she slept. We chatted for a little, and I decided to head off 'cause I was having trouble keeping my eyes open. We ended the conversation around 1 am, I fell asleep until 1:40 ish, woke up to brush, and then finally went to bed around 2.

Now looking back, it was only 24 hours ago that we're talking about being excited of going back to school, that things seemed...ok. Well, maybe not, but you could feel some optimism, at least. Talking to him is always a warm and comfortable experience.

When he told me he was with his grandma, I thought it was just such a nice thing to do. It was totally him, though, and I wasn't surprised in the slightest bit. He is an amazing company and friend, and anyone's lucky to be in his company. Yet, among all the optimism, there's that little voice inside that said to me, "maybe his grandma's not feeling well." I knew where that thought was going, so I simply dismissed it because I did not want to follow down that train of thought.
I thought about texting him earlier today to ask him how's she doing, because I had asked him to say hi to her for me, but he told me she's asleep.

Wasn't long after that I learned she had passed away, the night before.

When I saw his fb status, I found myself saying, "No, no no no no no, please no, I just talked to him last night, I thought she was fine...how...why..."

I just sat there for about 5 mins, trying to figure out what I should...say.

I texted my friend to give him a text hug, and to let him know that I'm all ears if he ever wants to talk or anything. I didn't want to ask anything more. He's going through enough already; he doesn't need more texts to answer right now.

I want to dedicate this post to him and his grandma.

Zach, I am so so sorry for your loss. You are an absolutely amazing person and friend. Your spirit in all that you do, your thoughtfulness, warming personality, and your kind soul are things more than anyone could ask for.  I never got to know your grandma, but knowing you, she must be nothing short of the things I mentioned. I bet she would not regret to have been your grandma in the slightest, but rather know that because you are her grandson, she can live on, not only in your and your family's heart, but, more importantly, through you and your family.

I'll be praying for you and your family. I pray for your comfort in the midst of sadness and heartache. I pray for understanding and the wiping of tears. I don't know why she was taken away from us so unexpectedly. Maybe no one has an answer. That may be the case, but I know I am sure of two things: she must be darn proud of you for who you are and your irreplaceable character and soul, and that her view from heaven must beat the hell out of ours here.

Love you Zach, you are the best. I'll be praying for you and your family.