old texts

*About me moving to a different town*

Me: Well, it feels like going away. 

You: You're not going that far away.

I don't know what got me to look at those old texts. Maybe I was just cleaning out some stacked message threads; maybe I was just scrolling all the way to the bottom and saw people that only I start to text; maybe it was because of the names; maybe because I should have deleted those a while ago. 


Yes, it is far away. Even though it's only about 2-3 miles away from my old town, now I never really leave the house unless I have a car. Do you know what that means? It means that when it gets too quiet, and the silence too loud, my heart will decide that it misses everyone. 


And having a car is actually a decently rare occasion. 


That means that I usually just stay home and, unfortunately, be antisocial. Of course, I try to hang out with people, but now that I live an inconvenient distance from everything (literally everything and everywhere), hanging out is farther down the drain than I wanted it to be. 

from imgfave

You know, it's not just your text. There are so many others in which conversations began because of me, and it stacks from my side for a few in a row until there's a reply. Or, it'd be a few weeks before the friend says "hi." 

I don't know, why do I try? 


*sigh* All of this past and memory thing are coming back to annoy me again. =/ So tired. 


I want a dog. 


LoL, some reading and homework, maybe pingpong, then bed. Peace.