Every time, before bed, thoughts just flood my supposedly empty mind. Things like how something should be, agendas, plans, what I did today, sometimes the past, people, events. And then always, the people I'm not allowed to miss, even the tiniest.
And...there are so many. I just...can't allow myself to miss any of them cause it's just not right. It's just so wrong.
There are so many people I want to say I miss them, but I can't. I just...can't.
Maybe it's not because I don't miss people, but because of this. Because I don't allow myself to miss people, and force myself to be alone.
Don't ever do this. This hurts like hell, but there's no other way for me. This is what I need to do to live, sadly.
And no ever knows.
My brain hurts. G'night.
No comments:
Post a Comment