finally a new post

So yea, I literally opened a new blank post three times (this being the fourth) and never wrote anything. Ended up just closing the window because other things got in the way. Finally it's now FRIDAY and I have time (and the reason to procrastinate more) to write something. Finally! 


First thing's first, I've been sleeping too late (like 2-3am late) and as a result I woke up late to my first class today, casually killing my alarm as it "wakes" me up. I didn't miss any clickers so that was fortunate. Then I proceeded to become rather tired as the day went on, and now I'm back in my dorm, typing up this post at 2:50pm. 


Alright, I guess a few things to say before I go take a nap myself. I've been busy, as anyone who've been reading my posts, with labs and lab and labs. Some exams here and there, but most of the time just lab work and reports and all. Very lovely stuff. That was irony, just saying. 


Oh, someone blogged about whether she should delete her blog and start anew and some stuff along that line. I kinda did that too, didn't I...well mine was more of a transition to a different blogger, so that doesn't really count. But now I think of it, I probably shouldn't have saved all those old posts all here by importing. Anyways, I commented saying that she shouldn't delete, because I really think that blogging is a healthy habit. 


Speaking of that, there's something I need to mention. I've recently "sorta" tried to get to know someone, and then this whole history came crashing onto me. That feeling of being lied to. Of not actually being loved. And then everything went away. The desire to try and anything along that line went away. 


And that's that. 


I'm just not over that feeling of hurt, I guess. 


Anyways. Enjoy this absolute amazing gif I found online: 

Also, today is Eli's birthday! Happy Oh So Lovely Birthday to you!!! Miss you lots <3<3


Alright, gonna take my nap now. Might post more later. Peace guys :) 

yea

Happy Singles Awareness Day!

While that's going on, what'd I do today? Organic chemistry lab, food, studying. Typical day for me really. 


Nothing much to say other than the lab went..eh, could've gone better, but w/e. More orgo studying, later, peeps. 


I hope everyone is enjoying this day more than I am x) 


-h-

infamous day

I tried to figure out what I wrote, how I was feeling, a year ago. And, surprisingly enough, I couldn't find any entries on the fourteenth of February, 2011. 

You know, I just want to write something right now, but I have nothing to write, or to talk about. So I'm just sitting here, in the lounge, 1am in the morning, of this nothing-more-than-normal day that shall come in a few hours. 

I did say to not let sadness get you. I think...it only works if you know what's holding you down, right? I hope I'm not being a hypocrite by saying this, but I guess it's just what's happening to me right now. 

I miss my guitar. 

I mean, I'm not asking much. I...just want a hug.

Eh, better off by myself, I guess. What's the big deal, right? 

Night. 

some conflict?

What do you do when you're tired but still awake at 1:30am on a Friday school night? You order wings. 


Well, I got hungry and it's a Friday night, after an exam; after a movie (Remi is absolutely adorable!). Totally justified. 


Oh yea, on another note.


So I was just chatting with a friend, and certain topics came up, and I said what I meant, that I don't really (wanna) try anymore. I guess I am kinda not trying, but you know, it's like saying "I don't care" in various situations. 


I guess by not trying I meant I don't go look for something good and fill it up with expectations. It almost means that I am not hoping for the better, because that's expectation. I guess it sounds more pessimistic than I anticipated...(heh, I was just just saying otherwise, weren't I?) But I swear, I'm not that pessimistic...


Honestly, as these thoughts battle it out in my head, there's still this frustration, almost regret, in me that I still don't know people on my floor very well. I've told myself that I will do that, but I still don't, haven't, and don't know how. 


And yes, this, precisely this, sounds like I'm trying again. 


Sooooo much paradox. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 


I don't know, man. I guess I'm trying different things and I shouldn't set everything related to "trying" into one category. 


And also, it happened again today when I try to reconnect (just talk, really) to some old friends, and they turned out to be walls after walls. 


Trying, eh? Great stuff. 


Idk, it is honestly not a good feeling your "friends" are "friends." 


Well now that wings were munched and stomach's filled, I should be heading off soon. It's almost 2:30am. Haven't slept this late in a month or so. 


Oyasumi, world. 

goal for the semester

So for those who don't know, I'm learning this piece on piano. Well, more like relearning it since last year since I never finished it. But the goal is to finish this piece by the end of the semester! Good luck to me ^^

so many labs

Yea, so I have three labs every other week, two weekly and one every other week, and I'm starting to feel the pressure now. The weekly labs are also ~5 hours long...


Also, organic 2 with all the spectroscopy readings and such...very difficult, and I'm just starting to get a hang out it, slowly but surely, I hope. ><


The weather will stay nice for at least a week or so. More running? I hope so. By nice I meant no rain, but it's still chilling and cold Q.Q


-----


A friend asked me yesterday that whether I'm fighting out of any friendzones. Haha, that's a good question, and honestly, I don't think so-at least I'd like to think otherwise. I just don't wanna try anything right now. 


And, I guess, just sit back and spectate the world and enjoy how the world has so many beautiful souls. 


------


Lab in an hour ish, gonna get some food. Later readers :) 

always the little things

This is just so bad. God damnit, this is so bad. Tim, just why, this is so stupid. 


Yes. It was just one "hi." Just one. And from this girl that I don't even know (well she was kinda cute at first glance but that's not the point...), but it was that alone that reminded me of what an obligated greeting sounded like. 


Yea, it's that "oh hey" that you are kinda forced to say when you see someone you know. You're obligated to respond, just because you know them. Yes, it's not a bad thing, but you know, nowadays you (I know it at least applies for me) take that for granted. Like it's so normal. I'm not saying that it's an action that's frowned upon or anything; of course it's normal to greet those you know. But it's just...too natural and expected. 


Then when a stranger actually say hi to you, with a smile, at you. Like, honestly, just that one little thing is enough to make you melt. It's so bad. 


Yeeaaaaa I have a problem, don't I. I should just go find a hole and live in it Q.Q 


Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh