blogger acting weird

For some reason, not all the blogs I follow show up under subscriptions. Adding them in is fine. It's the blogs disappearing after I close the page that is annoying me =/ Going back for some research time, I suppose. Google never fails me. 


And I'm not sure how to default a font on the template. I seem to be having trouble finding the link/how to get to such settings if there are such. Any ideas? 


Confusion is super effective...

first wednesday physics class

A few things. First of all, today I decided to go to physics class for the first time, the day after my physics exam. Woke up at 9 am, roommate got so confused lol.

Came to class, and first thing professor said was you are not smart. Great timing, I got there, eh? Lol. Well now he's just talking there and I'm just sitting here, blogging. And honestly, so far he hasn't taught us anything new. Hm.

Yes. Demos. He's pulling out liquid nitrogen and pouring it into a water bottle...oh shit he's capping it now...and putting it in a trash can...ohhh shit it's gonna blow.

Yep, it blew, after like 2 mins. We all thought it was leaking instead by then xD

So another thing, I've been remembering my dreams, a lot of them, recently. I'll update more later, gotta go to class.

Edit (at 2am):

After dinner, went on a straight four-hour orgo study session. We progressed through the materials slower than expected, so I have more stuff to do tomorrow...could've been more productive really, but we have a decent number of people who showed up so I guess it's acceptable, as long as everyone got the material.

And I have lab tomorrow, more studying tomorrow, exam Friday, lab Saturday, and ecology assignment (most likely) Sunday. Great stuff, man. And I still need to go see my professor about a research opportunity. Gawd, why don't I just run a farm full of holy brown cows.

another note

Oh yea, on another note, this shall be a shout-out. 


It's (was) my awesome pen-pal's birthday! =D I hope she had the most wonderful day. 


Ok a little Skyrim and more orgo. 

busybusyweek

Woke up with headache once again, brain I thought we're over that q.q Tylenol, kick in now, will you? 

I was breezing through physics problems last night to prepare for my test today, and it just occurred to me that my professor just didn't bother to give back formula sheets and that I always have to keep making them. He doesn't even use it or look at it, I don't think, so he shouldn't be keeping them. Honestly. I want my ultra-neatly written pass back q.q 

Orgo is getting quite crazy with all the memorizing and reasoning, with about 20 mechanisms and processes learned so far. Naming's good, for the most part, the reagents are still a little cloudy, but I will get them by Friday. All these methods of hydrogenation...holy brown cow. 

On another note, I realized that blogger is actually kinda better, in a way. I haven't explored much of the theme capabilities yet, but since there are lots of limitations with wordpress, I figured that others would have a better chance of having more varieties in themes and personalizations. 

Also, there are absolutely so many good movies coming out. Gawd, there are roughly five or so coming out next month alone. And then about 3 more in the following 2-3 months. Godamnit. I'm gonna go broke in no time..

Oh, and yea, for unknown reasons I've been remembering my dreams. A lot of them. One of them was I actually decided to hug you. Maybe it is behind me, idk. But I don't think this is a bad thing.

Okkkk headache, chill out, I'll go buy you a frappuccino or something, ok? I need to walk down to the dining hall through tumbling to my demise. 

No ecology today. Made my day. Will study more physics and then orgo. 

If I get some free time this week (before exam on Friday), I shall do some major theme change. Look forward to it? Any suggestions or tips? Gimme! ^^

And I'm gonna get a Free Hugs shirt for realz this time. 

That's it for now, heading down to lunch with peeps. 

-l.h-

cramped and cramped

Sitting here, wind blowing out the window, trees swaying, leaves shot up in their journeys, carefree cars,  warmth coming down, music playing, syllabi pasted all over the wall, inside-out ring, unfinished readings.

This post is for a friend of mine.

You said you want to know what people feel. The happy things, the sad, melancholy; the laughter, tears, frustrations, confusions, misunderstandings, jealousy...everything that's felt, with open or closed eyes, with whole or broken hearts, with logic or without, with him, or her, or you.

That is the also the reason why you talk to me, right?

Did you also mean that you want to feel them too? I'm not sure because you didn't say. And because those two are very different.

I'm not sure how to phrase this other than you talk to me out of curiosity, and I'm not sure what to think of that.

I think I still am naive. I thought that I could easily put this behind me, but everything and everyone I see will remind me of something. Yes, even you.

And damn, I told you how deep it was. I told you how much I loved her. You told me yours. Maybe yours was deeper than mine, but it was the deepest I've felt. Or maybe it was a different kind of depth, because what I felt was how love could heal, how perfect it can be, and then how powerful it can cut twice as deep again.

I don't know about you, but I don't jump in and out of people's lives.

I know some of your story, and you know mine. Maybe we have helped each other through something, I don't know. But honestly, I don't even know if I miss you. Sorry to being rather brutally honest, but it's what I feel.

But again, you most likely don't read my blog. Rather, who does anyways? I wonder who reads this. I really do.

People change. It's not because they learn certain something from others, I don't think, but rather they already have it in them, and encounters simply bring out those beliefs and make them more applicable and practical than they have been. Those beliefs may not be desirable, but maybe they work for whatever circumstances.

Yes, my mind is really cramped.

I most likely won't even read this anymore after typing this out. Just because it's too chaotic.

Now I'm even more interested as to who reads any of this.

But I guess I just want to wish you luck in all that you do. 'Course, you might come to me when something happens, and that's fine with me, since I guess those will only be the times when I can see you. And congrats, on a few things, since you are in my opinion one of the lucky ones.

Later, E.

--

I didn't wait for change. I worked to make it happen.

I want to be able to move on to the point that I no longer feel anything when I think about the past. I don't know if that's possible. Maybe this is too naive. Maybe I just need to feel whatever I feel every time I've reminded of all that, and not be affected. Make my feelings. Maybe that's what I need to work on.

Maybe I should work on getting zero view in 48 hours so the graph thing is flat.

Wasted too much time here, later, mind.

 

productive or overwhelming?

Original plan was that I could relax after my ecology exam. But noooo, I have so much work also due within the next two days: anthropology reading, physics, physics LAB, and orgo OWLs. I just finished orgo and gonna start anthro like now. It's just so much work and I want a nap instead. =/

CRC in like 25 mins. Heading down now....

a bit spontaneous

Idk, I was falling asleep and it just randomly hit me. I should be asleep but I just had to put this down.

A new floormate I befriended recently had a status that was about cuddling, saying that she likes cuddling and what's the matter with that? I responded with a picture of a ginormous dog being cuddled by a girl and said, of course, nothing is wrong with liking to cuddle.

But then it just occurred to me. Why do we even hug? Who do we hug, and WHEN? It's when things aren't well, isn't it, when we need them the most. Do we hug because we want to love? Be loved, since hugging means being hugged also? Now comes the tricky part: When do we actually go for hugs? When should we? Just like my anthropology class mentioned today, it differs from culture to culture, but for most of us, hug and being hugged is normal. But do we want to hug/be hugged or to cuddle/be cuddled? With this question, the act of hugging someone has turned into the different levels of love you give and receive. It gets complicated, doesn't it: If you hug, you get a hug; if you cuddle, you might either get a hug or a cuddle back, because you can tell if the other person wants to cuddle or not.

Now when I think back to that question, the answer is a bit different. It's just too naive to think that you would get the same level of love back simply from a hug. You can really feel it. It is nothing wrong with it, because if you want to give some love, it's the simply way. But if you're looking for something in return, then look elsewhere.

Yes. It is not like everyone always want to give cuddles. Hugs are still different from cuddles, because the two deliver different messages.

Now I feel like I know why I felt...spontaneous about this...

pce.

some love in the world

It happened so unexpectedly and took us both by surprise. We both were hesitant about the situation but it just worked. The secrets and sneakiness made the thrill of it all so much more exciting! It was easy, it was simple but it was new, it was exciting and was fresh. It was different from anything we had ever felt before. Right now, though, I feel weak. I feel clingy, but it's never hit me this hard before. I don’t want to regret not saying things to you before you leave, so here it is…..

This thing between is unexplainable. It cannot be described because I can’t seem to be able too. The words and the concepts just don’t seem to match what it actually is. Every time I got a text or thought about you my stomach would get all funny, like there were butterflies where organs should be. I felt like a little kid again.

If I didn't know any better I'd say I'm falling in love with you but enough to know that the adventure your about to go on is one that I’m not going to hold you back on or make things harder for you. I’m so excited for you but so incredibly sad to see you go. You have taught me so much and made me feel like I have something to look forward to again in the future. Don’t be scared or nervous because being young is such an exciting time and you officially have the world at your feet, the world is now your oyster.

The time I have spent with you has made me look forward to the next time we see each other, whether it be tomorrow, next month, next year, 10 years from now or when you finally return from this exciting journey your about to take part on. It is the best feeling knowing that some of your best days are just waiting to be lived out. Doing anything with you seems extraordinary to me.

I’m lucky to say I have you as a friend. I’m proud of you because you’ve never let me down.

While it lasted we had some of those things some people are yet to experience. We are the lucky ones, to meet somebody and get along so well instantly. To have a crazy connection with somebody you barely know but it’s something you hear people talk about and read about. While we had it it’s was real, it was great, it was really great.

What are two years, 730 days, 17520 hours? I want this letter to be something you can read and feel like you miss me but remember I’ll be seeing you soon, no goodbyes or never seeing each other again just I’ll miss you until you come back. We could have had a great story but instead this is it for now and what happens next is up to this huge universe.

Whatever you choose to do in your life to be, you will do amazing things, I may be young, I may be foolish, I may be naïve but you have so many experiences and times to come that will blow you away. I hope you keep in contact and make me jealous about all the amazing times you experience in Canada. Make memories that will make you speechless. Blow yourself away with the things you can achieve and surprise yourself. Do crazy things just to say you did them. Let yourself be wild, live with no regrets but be true to yourself.

The times we spent together and the little memories we shared I will keep them close until there is another time to make new ones again. I want that night where we laid in your bed with nervous hands, our shoulders touched and you kissed me and I couldn’t stop smiling.

And we are stronger than we think.

So I will move on. But I just needed you to know that I think of you. And miss us. But I am moving on. I hold a place for you, that is filled with pain and love and forgiveness.

I forgive you for hurting me and for not knowing that you did. I wish you the best. Maybe if the timing had been different...maybe if you were different..

Maybe we'll never know.

 

Le Love