hug

This reminds me of how a friend of mine was saying I should get a tumblr or twitter or something. Ha...idk. 

the past

Alice, not sure if you've read this but, here goes:

it had only been 2 months. two months of ups and downs, two months of wondering if she’d ever see him again. two months of worrying about him, and hating herself for it. two months of missing his touch.

 it was a fluke of a day, really, wasnt it? had the two of them already started going out? LA…it had always been a great joke, the perfect play on their names. looking back, she couldnt remember. the lines were always blurred. they had both talked to her separately, and she had always known that something would happen eventually. she could see it from miles away; there had always been something between them. or at least, from him to her. it made her smile, but it hurt. to see them so close. to see what she had missed. what she was missing. 

already, two new friends in those two months. and already, one of them was with someone else. 

it really was a fluke of a day. she didnt really feel like seeing anyone. but, she dragged herself out of bed, just like every other day. she knew that if she didnt, even just one day, it would be the end of her. she had to keep going. 

when was it that she first realized? was it that day? it was just another movie night. just a day, just an ordinary day. how many movies had they watched so far? it was always the same story, some horror, and some variation on the guest list. just whoever could come that night. that night, it seemed like everyone. was it the first time he had come? or was it just the first time she had noticed? 

 it was something different about that night. what movie had they even been watching? she couldnt remember. all she could feel was the closeness between them. she sat on the table on the corner; everyone else was on the couch. she didnt like it there, not with any possiblity of sitting next to… 

and then he came up the stairs at sat in front of her. she didnt really even notice until she had to shift a little to the right, to see the tv. he turned around and asked if she could see. her heart caught in her throat, and she nodded yes. as he turned back around, she became very aware of how close he was sitting to her left foot. 

 is this what moving on is? she thought. 

very suddenly, she wasnt paying attention to the tv. the dialogue became a babble in the background, and the moving pictures blurred before her eyes. she felt the very overwhelming urge to hold him from behind. just like…before. she was shocked at how much she almost had to fight herself; so much so, she couldnt be sure whether she was or wasnt fidgeting. would he notice? 

she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him, resting her chin on his shoulder. he started, but he smiled, and stroked her hair. she couldnt see his face, but she knew he was smiling. no, she didnt. she knew that he was leaning forward, watching the movie. instead, she leaned back into the corner, catching her head on the low ceiling. 

she closed her eyes, and crossed her arms over her chest in an attempt to conceal the loneliness in her heart. there she sat, her mind and body fighting between what she wanted to do and what she couldnt do. she drew her eyes back to the screen, willing herself out of her thoughts. why did it feel so right? and why did that scare her so much? 

it was true. the sound of her loneliness, like a heartbeat, drove her mad… in the stillness of remembering what she had. and what she lost. 

was it real? or was it merely a dream for sale?

december, 40 degrees with a chance of confusion

So I was going to blog on the first also, but then it was orgo all day. So much acidity, basicity, nucleophilicity, leaving group ability, Sn1, Sn2, and like a zilean processes and mechanisms...all day ever'day until last night. Studies about 15 hours for the past two days, and I think I did alright on the exam last night. 


So the first day of December. Physics lab was to mess around with liquid nitrogen, absolutely fun. We cruised through that lab under an hour, measuring latent heat with timers and balances and frozen pencils and erasers. Went to dinner right after and then straight orgo studying with a few peeps. 


It was roughly the same for Friday, except there was a discussion in the morning and then a costume contest in my classics class also. What totally surprised me was how my anthropology professor was actually at the discussion. I didn't even notice her until she started speaking/giving opinion while we were discussing the topics. I don't know, just very uncalled for, really x) And the costume contest went decently well, those who participated got extra credit points, I believe. There was also this really cute girl who was Demeter...okk w/e. 


Anyways, I didn't sleep well Thursday night so took a nap Friday before dinner and exam, and ended up "ditching" people who wanted to squeeze in a last-minute study in the lounge. I was like yea I can't function without nap right now, and I kinda went an hour after, and there was only one person there anyways. Lazy people, I tell you. 


You know, aside from the keyboard, I think I want a book for Christmas. 


Get ready for lunch then lab. Pce. 

about me

Yea, again bad hour but my brain is good at thinking at such hours. But I decided to make a new about me section. Here goes. 

--

“I like to see people reunited, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, the stories that the mouth can’t tell fast enough, the ears that aren’t big enough, the eyes that can’t take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together and the end of missing someone” (Foer = fav author) 

This is a typical full-time college sophomore working part time.

I absolutely love Yellowcard, just up front.

I blog to vent and to share my thoughts. I believe that people who blog are brilliant, passionate, and deep thinkers, and I absolutely love that and would love to read everyone's blog :) 


Actually, how it started was I began a blog a very very long time ago. I dropped it for about two years, and then picked it back up a year ago, when a friend of mine brought up the topic. We got closer with the blogs. We walked the tracks together for a while, and then she got on a train with a flick of a finger, blink of an eye. Blog went from being sharing to venting, to depressing keys and minor tones. Honestly, if you decide to visit that old blog, it is so dark there, for three or four months straight. 


Yea yea I know I feel too much. It's part of being human. 

In any case, I have recently switched to blogger just to try it out. So far I'm liking it more than wordpress. Not sure if I want to import my old blog here (can I even do that?) But either case, here's my old blog for anyone interested: http://salaheonerezza.wordpress.com/

I surf imgfave like a religion and listen to 8tracks like it's my itunes. 

I sing almost every time I walk alone. I play air piano. I air-strum.

I can click really loud with my tongue.

House, Naruto, FMA, Bleach, Fairy Tail, Reborn, and other awesome mangas.

Oh, and I have a so-called "Asian-fro" (my hair is poofy)

I love hugs, too. It's been too long since I actually hugged. Maybe that's why I haven't been able to get a hundred percent better. *shrug* 

blogger acting weird

For some reason, not all the blogs I follow show up under subscriptions. Adding them in is fine. It's the blogs disappearing after I close the page that is annoying me =/ Going back for some research time, I suppose. Google never fails me. 


And I'm not sure how to default a font on the template. I seem to be having trouble finding the link/how to get to such settings if there are such. Any ideas? 


Confusion is super effective...

first wednesday physics class

A few things. First of all, today I decided to go to physics class for the first time, the day after my physics exam. Woke up at 9 am, roommate got so confused lol.

Came to class, and first thing professor said was you are not smart. Great timing, I got there, eh? Lol. Well now he's just talking there and I'm just sitting here, blogging. And honestly, so far he hasn't taught us anything new. Hm.

Yes. Demos. He's pulling out liquid nitrogen and pouring it into a water bottle...oh shit he's capping it now...and putting it in a trash can...ohhh shit it's gonna blow.

Yep, it blew, after like 2 mins. We all thought it was leaking instead by then xD

So another thing, I've been remembering my dreams, a lot of them, recently. I'll update more later, gotta go to class.

Edit (at 2am):

After dinner, went on a straight four-hour orgo study session. We progressed through the materials slower than expected, so I have more stuff to do tomorrow...could've been more productive really, but we have a decent number of people who showed up so I guess it's acceptable, as long as everyone got the material.

And I have lab tomorrow, more studying tomorrow, exam Friday, lab Saturday, and ecology assignment (most likely) Sunday. Great stuff, man. And I still need to go see my professor about a research opportunity. Gawd, why don't I just run a farm full of holy brown cows.

another note

Oh yea, on another note, this shall be a shout-out. 


It's (was) my awesome pen-pal's birthday! =D I hope she had the most wonderful day. 


Ok a little Skyrim and more orgo. 

busybusyweek

Woke up with headache once again, brain I thought we're over that q.q Tylenol, kick in now, will you? 

I was breezing through physics problems last night to prepare for my test today, and it just occurred to me that my professor just didn't bother to give back formula sheets and that I always have to keep making them. He doesn't even use it or look at it, I don't think, so he shouldn't be keeping them. Honestly. I want my ultra-neatly written pass back q.q 

Orgo is getting quite crazy with all the memorizing and reasoning, with about 20 mechanisms and processes learned so far. Naming's good, for the most part, the reagents are still a little cloudy, but I will get them by Friday. All these methods of hydrogenation...holy brown cow. 

On another note, I realized that blogger is actually kinda better, in a way. I haven't explored much of the theme capabilities yet, but since there are lots of limitations with wordpress, I figured that others would have a better chance of having more varieties in themes and personalizations. 

Also, there are absolutely so many good movies coming out. Gawd, there are roughly five or so coming out next month alone. And then about 3 more in the following 2-3 months. Godamnit. I'm gonna go broke in no time..

Oh, and yea, for unknown reasons I've been remembering my dreams. A lot of them. One of them was I actually decided to hug you. Maybe it is behind me, idk. But I don't think this is a bad thing.

Okkkk headache, chill out, I'll go buy you a frappuccino or something, ok? I need to walk down to the dining hall through tumbling to my demise. 

No ecology today. Made my day. Will study more physics and then orgo. 

If I get some free time this week (before exam on Friday), I shall do some major theme change. Look forward to it? Any suggestions or tips? Gimme! ^^

And I'm gonna get a Free Hugs shirt for realz this time. 

That's it for now, heading down to lunch with peeps. 

-l.h-