I can hear the devil saying to me that I'm not worth it. I'm not worth your time. I've done enough damage. I should be abandoned.

Maybe a little of it is myself.

I'm my Father's. He knows me and loves me. That is enough. I may have been foolish, but I'm seeking His wisdom. I know I'll be okay.

big day

Well, tomorrow's the big day. I guess I feel okay about it. Doing it for God, and He'll be there with me. He'll provide me with the knowledge and memory I need to go where I need to go.

And then on Monday too.

Hallelujah, I praise You Jesus!

dream

My dad told me that he wanted to get a divorce. I told him I'm gonna tell mom, and he beat me up and I ended up in the hospital

......I don't know what to think about this dream

journal2

I felt I needed to do more on that one verse so....

Also I don't think I'm gonna update everything I put down. That's probably too much work. I'll just keep them in my notebook. 

But so far I'm loving this. 

fool

I'm one big fool. I'm the biggest fool. I'm so sorry Father, please, please forgive me.

If I were you

1) Address your unresolved childhood issues. "If you attempt to build intimacy with a person before you've done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be attempt to complete the hole in your heart."
2) Get out of debt.
3) Break your bad habits now.
4) Postpone the physical component of your dating relationship ALAP . Self-control before you're married results in self-control after you're married. Self-control now trains you for self-control later;
5) Avoid living together.
6) Get involved in your local church. And serve.

journal

Finally got a notebook for my Bible study journal. I'm very excited 

give me faith

Father, 

I feel like I can't escape my faults. Father, how does one mess up this badly? I don't feel like I deserve a second chance. 

I don't know if I can carry my cross today, Father. Please give me the strength. I don't ever want to be apart from You anymore. I don't want to do things by myself because I know I'll always mess it up. I'm just like Peter, Father, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 

Please, take over. I know this is a daily battle, and I'm asking You with all my heart to please take over my mind, my heart, my life, my everything. I don't want to do me anymore 

learn to have more grace

I think this is something I need to learn to do better....

Thanks Pastor J.S. Park for these

• Grace is a gift we don't deserve 
• Grace hears the whole story (1 Corinthians 13:6) 
• Grace gives a generous explanation 
• Grace creates a space where unity can happen (1 Corinthians 13:4-5) 
• Grace is for you. When we leave church, we'll mess it all up again. But God is still showing us grace, so that we can try again, and again, and again.