saturday night

So you wrote it down I'm supposed to care, even though it's never there
Sorry if I'm not prepared
Is it hard to see the things yo substitute for me and all my thoughts of you?

-YC

these mornings

For some reason I've been waking up these days with a headache and then the next without. This has been alternating for the past five days or so already. I tried to find the causes behind the headaches, from the daily activities of those five days or so, but none has made any differences. 


Haha, maybe it has something to do with what I dreamed last night. It was about my watch that decided that it has the ability to transform in to two other modes (bear with me, it still doesn't make sense, too much CIA gadget stuff going on here). It can transform from like this original, plastic cover and metallic design into this metal casing that feels like a titanium finish. Then it can also turn into a cheaper feeling plastic watch with like beads as the watchbands....idk it was just weird as hell. 


Ohhh what is vacation doing to me lol. 


Going out to lunch. Hope my headache goes away. Later guys :) 

I get weird dreams

Yep. I totally do. Like the dream I had last night. From what I remembered, I was hugging someone in the dream, I forget who, and I could feel distinguished squeezes from that person very clearly. I could feel her periodic squeeze from the hug, and I think they semi woke me up because the next thing I knew was it was just my quilt. I tried to remember the squeezes and I could still feel the lingering sensation. Weird as hell. 


Oh well, that's for that. I'm still waiting for a few mangas to come out, sucks that JUMP took a week off. Should be out tmw. Oh, speaking of manga, I need to catch up on One Piece. :) 


Also, I got a mail from my new pen-pal! Along with the fact that it's also not from the US (but from UK!), I'm super excited to write more actual letters. Reminds me of how I found this image with a method to send letters for free (without a stamp, in the US that is) by switching the return address and the destination address. Haha, what ingenious idea. Best part is she's also a YELLOWCARD FAN YESSSSS. :D Hokay I'm done. 


That's it for now. Gonna start on that letter and then some LoL. Peace. 

what is it, is it destiny?

So. A little background. A certain someone made me a can tab bracelet sometime ago. Something happened and, well, let's just say our friendship is not the same anymore. Now that bracelet is locked away with everything else. 


A little after that whole kit and kaboodle, I made a friend a can tab bracelet also. Not long after that it became really evident that my friend is constantly annoying me. I chose to grow apart. 


Ohhhh the curse of the bracelet. 

hah.

I just remembered how you said not to wait for you. When it all happened. Ha, that was so damn clear, wasn't it. I was nothing to you, and there's nothing for you to get over. 


It's even clearer now. Sorry, but if you felt that way, this definitely wouldn't have worked. I don't even know how we got close. 


It'll be lucky (for you) if we're still friends as I don't know where we stand. But w/e, this is no longer important. 


Farewell. 

three more weeks

Let's do a little recap. Winter break started more than two weeks ago, and there are three more weeks left of it. Honestly, this break is too long. I want to go back next week. QQ. A goal for me was to start studying for MCAT, but I realized that there are actually more stuff that I haven't learned yet than I anticipated (as in I will learn next semester). So I can only do so much for the studying so far. Oh well. 


A few goals for this new year. 

1. I'm gonna make a collage. First for 2011, then take more photos or 2012. 
2. Be happier; this, of course, doesn't mean that I can throw away my past and forget about it 'cause it will go wherever I go. But I'll do it nevertheless.
3. Create/learn about more awesome mixes on 8tracks.
4. Read more for fun.
5. Have a drama-less year.
6. Get a 4.0.
7. Find a worship place at college.
8. Sleep earlier.
9. Make more friends.
10. Be more active and get in shape.

May there be more to come, hah. That's it for now. Hope your day's coming along awesome :) 

before sleep

Every time, before bed, thoughts just flood my supposedly empty mind. Things like how something should be, agendas, plans, what I did today, sometimes the past, people, events.
And then always, the people I'm not allowed to miss, even the tiniest.


And...there are so many. I just...can't allow myself to miss any of them cause it's just not right. It's just so wrong.


There are so many people I want to say I miss them, but I can't. I just...can't.
Maybe it's not because I don't miss people, but because of this. Because I don't allow myself to miss people, and force myself to be alone.


Don't ever do this. This hurts like hell, but there's no other way for me. This is what I need to do to live, sadly.


And no ever knows.


My brain hurts. G'night.

a new year it is

Honest to say, 2011 wasn't an enjoyable year. For me, it was a lot of doubts, hardships heartaches, stuff like that. Yes, there were some good and enjoyable parts, but none of those were actually happiness. They weren't true happiness. They were enough just to get by.
A lot of it was me trying to heal. Always fun.


But all of this is just a reflection.
That's it for now. I would've stayed in Boston for the fireworks and such if only I hadn't been there for the entire day already and spent >$70... There goes my budget for the vacation. x(


Heading off now, oyasumi.


-hug-