new beginning

What I learned? I'm actually just talking to a friend about this.

It's about confidence. When one says that he or she will always be there for you, it's saying that they will be there for you but they won't be there for you. Oxymoron? Yep, you know it. So what does this depend on? That friendship, because it only means friendship. The friend zone? Oh yea, big time.

What's the big deal? Well, you have one chance with any one person, pretty much. Like I used to say, I'd rather stay platonic. But you know what, I'd rather lose than not know the truth. The truth that says this is not the right person and miss it. I'm not afraid to lose anymore. If it's not the truth then it's not worth keeping. If something's on your mind, say it. If you think something might hurt someone, well it will no matter what or how you say it, and dragging on such a thing can only make things worse.

Platonic means nothing more than the tightest friends. And I've learned to try and shoot for it in a different way.

Like someone says, friendship isn't worth it if you are not happy with it. There's only someone who I deserve, and vice versa. I"m not saying this in the sense that I don't care about people's feelings, but simply because there's nothing I can do, and since from past experience, saying can only get you so far, I will always say whatever's concerning me, to the right person. I should be happy with or without others. I can be happier with people, maybe more with certain people than others, and that's totally fine, but now I can be happy with myself. They can't affect me as much as anyone can before. I won't let anyone do that ever again as much as before. Does that mean things have changed? Maybe for me, but I'd like to think and put it as here are more important things at hand, and that is whether I'm happy with myself.

And then maybe I can begin to trust people more again. And that is a good thing.

There's gonna be a lot of new people, and it's gonna be great. 'Cause all they have to know, if they ever will, is that if I give out my heart, they will have all of it.

This is the last time. Everything will now be behind me. I'm marking this a new beginning.

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So, pretty excited, so far I'm certain that I got my position as a chemistry lab TA for the fall semester, and I am absolutely wicked excited about it :D Also got an appointment set up for a position as a OIT tech person, helping people with computer / technology problems. Oh if I do get both jobs it's gonna be so exciting next semester.

Last day of work today, went pretty well. Chilled at Starbucks a little with a friend; visited high school, etc.

Might LoL a bit later, if not, going straight to bed. Or maybe I'll just chill, 'cause I don't have to wake up early anymore hehe :)