away

I can't even begin to imagine what was going through his mind. I mean, just...something made him breathe. He, somehow, had to breathe. There was some reason that he didn't know, even though there is really no reason to live. Fate wouldn't even allow him dead. "I had power over nothing." I can't even imagine. He was virtually dead for four years. From the world, just away, gone. He lost everything, and no reason to live. He gave up completely. But he continued breathing. He kept breathing.

And then, in a flash, by chance, he once again saw what he lost. It wasn't even not taking anything for granted, but just...the fact that all the things in the world--those he treasured and those that he did not--all slapped him in the face all at the same time. Reality became unrealistic; it became so fake because it felt like you found another reality, and that reality just changed you so much.

What does that feel like?

He kept breathing.

What does it feel to have everything you ever wanted or needed at your disposal?

The only thing he thought he had control over was how and where he dies.

All the logic told him hope is gone, all gone. For four years. It became part of him.

What do you do when something like that is proven wrong,  just with a tide? What do you do? Why that four years? Why the reunion that doesn't bring back anything? Why let the reality of loss slap him in the face again--four years ago, and then now?

Reality casts  you away and you render speechless. Neither does hope or hopelessness mean anything any longer.

-h-