or not to be

Reasons drive actions. It's cause and consequence. Just like sometimes people put up walls just to see who cares enough to break them down. The reason part is difficult to figure out, not to mention all the consequences that could follow.

"Sometimes, the person who tries to keep everyone happy is always the loneliest person."

You want to be a change in something; the world, an event, an idea, a person. It feels good to know that you've made a difference, because you reached out. You tried to change something--whether it's for yourself or others. Something's lacking in the world? You want to start in your own little world first. You are not happy? You want to change that. Someone's having a bad day? You want to change that too.

You have that initiative so you try something logical that may work. After that, you just hope your goal is accomplished, that someone's happier, that the world is a little better.

Maybe you didn't even really think about that big globe when you did something.

How do we perceive the results and consequences? We/you decided to do them, and do the results meet your expectations? If not, is it reasonable to question yourself why you attempted the idea in the first place? Well, you thought it would work. But reality was as clear as glass and there's no way you could have seen that glass wall. You thought you knew what it was, but then you look around that glass wall, and the refraction in the glass shows you the reality.

And then your heart takes in all that light. The light is so bright that it begins to blind your heart. Now that you're paralyzed a bit, you don't know what reality actually is, nor the nature of your own belief because, hey, you didn't know that there was that glass wall there.

"You know what sucks? Realizing that everything you believe in is complete and utter bullshit."

The funny thing is, you may not always remember that glass wall, that it may be standing between you and another reality, that it is always standing between you and reality. And even when you remember, you don't know how to look around it so that you can actually see reality.

Now comes hesitation. You want to see the light, but you don't want to be blinded again, nor do you want to blind others because reality shines in all directions. So you put on some shades. You become more careful in whatever you do. Hesitation becomes sensitivity. Sensitivity creates a wall for your heart. A glass one, to be precise.

Why break down walls?

"Sometimes, the person who tries to keep everyone happy is always the loneliest person, so never leave them alone, because they will never say that they need you."

oyasumi.