a click of the tongue, a glimpse of the horizon

Only about three months ago, I stayed awake on a trip I'd normally fall asleep, only to come back to a home I'd known for less than 2 months, to a home that I'd only know sometimes up to only 12 hours of the day, arguably half of my summer.

On my last day home of the summer of 2013, I thought I'd do a quick reflection post.



Honestly, this summer was undoubtedly most exhausting, productively, potentially rewarding, and...I learned a lot, about many, many things.

Where do I begin?

MCAT. Of course, the core of pre-med students, the map to the gates. Recommended time of study is about 300-400 hours, I unfortunately was only able to study about 200-250 hours this summer before taking it. This was the major stress of my summer. There was so much pressure, from myself, parents, friends (mostly unknowingly and not their fault), and just...like everywhere. With my internship, I had ~2 hours on weekdays to study, and they were mostly poorly done because I'd be exhausted almost every time...go figures >.> but I still tried. The test was on the 28th of August, and I think I did my best with it. I feel ok about it, and there's nothing else I can do other than just wait, and to make sure I keep my GPA, if not raise it past 3.8.

So, Genzyme. I remember I was in shock when I got the email about my first interview. It went well, the recruiter was very nice and friendly, and it wasn't long until my other shock when I got my second interview. And then in a blink of an eye, a phone call one day after my neurobiology class gave me a different purpose for my summer. I worked with amazing people, coworkers, other interns, and all with a defined and structured goal. I remember telling my recruiter that I wanted to kick off my study of medicine with a research in a lab that is a step to a potential improvement of people's lives. I can tell you that my research gave me that purpose precisely, if not more.

Even so, and as much as I loved being there, I don't think research is my calling. While my experience at Genzyme has given me more respect and admiration for those who do it enthusiastically and without falter, it also strengthened my interest in becoming a doctor.

For these two major major parts of my summer, I gotta say...I'm surprised that it is all over. It felt forever, every day, that I just wake up, work, food, study, sleep, repeat 12 weeks. I mean, I was even denied my vacation (multiple reasons really, so actually I take that back).

What I really wanted to say is that I as much as I hated it, I think I took the best out of it.

I mean, for the last two days of my real summer I did nothing but packing on the first and went whale watching on the second (follow up post tomorrow after move in >:D)

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I also want to reflect on a few other things that I learned this summer.

But first, I want to do a shout out to a few friends, a few dear and great friends I've made over this summer. Not all of them I only knew over the summer, but nevertheless, thanks for the little things, the friendly thoughts, the chats, your time, company, and patience.

This is to Cece, Ann, Sam, Sammy, Emily, and Lolo.

And another shout out to my roommates for next year, all great friends, for even deciding to (keep) living with me lol.

You guys had definitely brightened up my day countless of times without you guys knowing. I mean, it probably didn't even mean anything to you, but like I said, you guys reminded me once again that little things really do matter.

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In addition to a lot of these, there's a valuable lesson I learned.

That is, don't be afraid of your feelings. Don't apologize for them, don't try to hide them if you can (unless it'll 100% hurt something then do it kindly), and most importantly: know the reasons of your feelings. Believe me, if you can figure that out, it opens up many helpful doors.

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It's taken me way too long to write this (got occupied by other things as well >.>) and it is now 2am. I will leave this as it is, and call it a night.